Taken by the Wind
by NaomiSpice
Summary: Heromi's world is crushed when she is dragged into Akatsuki affairs. She is left left to live undercover in the Hidden Leaf, working to erase her life and her mistakes, but an unexpected love begins to grow...
1. October's Chilling Grasp

My pulse quickened. A cold wind blew in from a window down the hall of my house. Last time I checked, it was locked. At times like this, I was terrified of the dark. Silently as I could, I crept out of bed, inching my way through the dark and down the hall. My eyes were wide, but I still couldn't see a damn thing.

I focused a small amount of Chakra into my fist, for protection. My eyes had adjusted as I finally managed to reach the window. Sure enough, it was open- but by force. As I inspected it, my fingertips touched the icy metal, I realized the lock was broken, and the frame had been bent.

Another cold wave of air blew in, and with it, a snowflake. It was the middle of October; I suppose it was about time for our first snow of the year. However, the chill didn't make my current situation any more pleasant. An unwanted guest was lurking somewhere in the dark, for reasons I did not know. To the right of the window were the stairs leading to the main floor. Surely this is where they, whoever _they_ are, would have gone after coming through the window. A little more Chakra focused into my fist, now much more clenched than it had first been. I crept down the stairs, keeping to the left; it was my best chance of possibly getting a glimpse of my intruder, without them first getting a glimpse of me. I feared the worst, rumors were growing in town these past few days that the Akatsuki was in the country, and on the prowl.

Standing on the last few steps, I peered around the corner behind me; I could see the layout of my shop. The shelves all seemed in order, herbs and spices in their natural place. I traced my eyes around the space to find the counter, where the register was. I quickly drew back. A dark figure was kneeling by the lower cabinet. Probably looking for the key to the safe I kept hidden in a drawer. Having no luck, the individual returned to the safe, waggling the dial to try and open it. This was my chance. While the intruder was occupied, I rushed at them, fist-first- but they were faster.

"Zouta?" My eyes widened with shock.

"Get out of my way, Heromi."

Zouta had grabbed my arm, and braced his knee against my chest to stop my momentum. I felt a tear scrambling around in the corner of my eye, waiting to fall. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"I need money. I didn't want it to have to come to this, I know you work hard for this, but I have debts to pay. And the recipients are very impatient. I'm sorry." He looked away, and his stringy dark bangs fell into his eyes.

Zouta and I were in a relationship, and I trusted him. But that trust had been broken. My heart cried in betrayal. Zouta pushed me back, and no longer having strength, I fell to the floor. He was apparently able to open the safe without the key, and I watched as he gathered bundles of cash into a bag…all that I had ever earned. He turned to look at me. Somewhat more resentful now, he moved closer to me. I attempted to move out of his way, but Zouta caught me, pulled me back toward him, and bound my hands behind me with a sealed scroll. I struggled to break it. Despite my wriggling, Zouta took another scroll, and sealed it over my mouth. He delivered a blunt punch to my head, and blackness surrounded my vision.

When I woke, I was still in the dark. I saw a street light in the distance. I was sitting on a stone street, but in an alleyway. The stone pavement was cold and wet from the new snow. Two cloaked figures dropped into the alley from a building; one taller than the other, but I couldn't see their faces. I felt an arm pull me to my feet, though my feet weren't quite sure if they remembered how to stand. It was Zouta behind me.

"Do you have our intelligence? Un?" The shorter of the cloaked men asked.

"Better- In the flesh as proof." Zouta held my body close to his, and held a kunai to my neck, as if disorienting and sealing me weren't enough.

_What- what is going on?_

"Tch. We don't need a hostage. Just information regarding shinobi investigation. Un."

"Oh- but she is the Tsuchikage's **primary advisor**, and she knows everything that you need. I'm no inside man, b-but she's what you want, believe me." Zouta pushed me forward, but I fell to my knees.

_Liar! What was Zouta getting at? Who were these people?_

I could feel my lungs begin to panic, my nostrils flared from hyperventilating. I felt light-headed; my consciousness was fading again. The cloaked figure who had been talking moved closer, and knelt, so that our eyes met. His teal blue eyes were calm; he glanced at Zouta, and then back at me. He smirked, "I don't believe you." The cloaked man rose to his feet, stepped around me, confronting him. "You're scum. I hate scum. I'll end you. Un."

Then, something I can't explain happened. I heard Zouta gag, cry out, and then I heard a loud bang, a crunch, and a thud. I felt myself fading out again with the cold and the pain. Blackness consumed my conscious again.

I was suddenly shaken awake, and daylight filled my eyes. My good friend, Izumi, was by my side. I realized I was in my own bed.

"Heromi! Oh, Heromi… They say they found Zouta's body in the alley behind the Capitol building. It's awful!" The dark-haired shinobi tugged at my hand.

_What? Was it all a dream?_

Izumi helped me out of bed.

_I have to check it…_

I ignored her, and left my room, walking to the window at the end of the hall- the window that was open last night. It was closed, but the lock still appeared to be broken. "Heromi, are you alright?" Izumi stopped a few steps behind me. Her face was strewn with concern.

I rubbed my forehead; my head ached. "I had a strange night last night." If Izumi were to ask me to reveal details, I wouldn't know where to start. I wasn't even sure if any of it was real.

"Don't tell the shinobi in charge of Zouta's investigation that, or they might suspect you of something." She paused, rethinking better words of comfort. "Do you want to talk about it? Let me make us some tea…"

I nodded compliantly, and followed Izumi down the stairs to my shop, only to stop again, and notice that the cabinets under the register were all closed. I went back, opened the cabinet, to find the safe was locked again. Just to be sure, I checked its contents.

All of the money was there.

_What the hell happened last night?_

"Heromi? Where'd you go?" Izumi's voice muffled between the shelves.

"Sorry, I uh, had to check something."

The Capitol was across the street, and through the glass front of the store, a mass of people gathered at the entrance of an alleyway. From a distance, I could see an Iwagakure shinobi stood on a crate at the edge of the alley entrance. He announced from a loudspeaker, though from behind the glass, it was only a mumble, "Folks, please stay out of our way as we continue to investigate the events that may have occurred here. If you have information pertaining to what might have happened, please speak to either myself, or the other shinobi here. Otherwise, continue about your day. There's nothing to see."

They couldn't hide it all, there was flesh scattered about the whole area, and lots of blood. I felt ill taking it all in.

"I-I don't feel so good."

A voice in the crowd rose above the other murmurs, "Was this the Akatsuki's doing?" the rest of the mob fell silent, waiting the response of the Shinobi who previously addressed the crowd.

"We…don't know for sure. But there is evidence that it could be. The best advice I have for you is to please keep your families safe at night- we don't want any more accidents."

"Heromi…" Izumi whispered to me, "what if it was _that rogue ninja_, Deidara. He would do something like that, you know."

Izumi sat me down with a cup of hot tea; my own blend. She studied me, we were both at a loss for words. I probably looked like shit.

_My head… _I reached up and felt my skull, there was a sore spot, and a small lump. _He really hit me. That really happened._

A knock came on the frame of the entrance to the shop; Izumi went to answer it. An

Iwagakure shinobi came in. "Miss Heromi, is it okay if I spoke with you for a moment?" A half frown was carved into his lips.

I nodded quietly. Izumi stood by my side.

"You probably heard about the accident last night."

I nodded again, gesturing out the window. "It's hard not to." My voice quaked, I tried not to cry.

"You knew the deceased?"

"Yes…" I pulled myself together the best I could, "we were in a relationship."

"How would you describe your relationship?"

"It was fine, normal, I suppose." My voice faded to a peep and I began to sob, not because Zouta was dead, but because he betrayed me. Our relationship **was** fine until last night.

The investigator probably thought I was crying for my loss. Better to keep it that way. He looked at me with guilty eyes, as if asking the questions were making my 'grief' more unbearable. "Did he have any enemies that you know of?"

I shook my head. I had no idea. Except for what happened with those two men, I had no idea; I was so confused. I swiped at my tears and sniffled, Izumi had been crying a little too, from the corner of my eye, she wiped her cheek.

The Shinobi looked at me once more and laid a hand on my shoulder. "Please do contact us if you might have any information that would be helpful. I'm sorry for your loss."

He left Izumi and me there, in the shop, both of us choking on sadness- for completely different reasons. Outside it was a beautiful day. Last night's snow was only a dusting; the warmth of the earth melted it away- just another reason to believe it was all just a bad dream.

"Heromi," Izumi mumbled, handing me a tissue, "What happened last night?"

"I don't know." I started to turn back to the stairs, "I want to sleep."

"Yeah, you go do that. I'll come and check on you tomorrow. Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Yeah."

Up the stairs, I inspected the window again, why? I wasn't sure. I tumbled into bed, and cried myself to sleep.

After a few hours, I woke up. Clusters of dried tears itched the corners of my eyes. I picked them away, and checked the time.

**4:00 A.M. **It was still dark out, and the air was chilly, as it had been the night before.

_Wait- the air is chilly?_

I immediately darted out of bed to run down the hall and check the window. It was open, but a shadowy shape filled its view. I stopped in my tracks- frozen with fear. The shape moved, pulling back what must have been a hood or a mask.

It said, "Glad to see you're still here, and the investigation nins didn't take you away. How are you feeling? Un."

_That accent…_

"I- I—who are you?" I shivered both out of fear, and the cold.

"You didn't answer my question. Un." The individual moved down the hall towards me, his hair was in a high ponytail, with long bangs in the front.

_It was __**him**__. From last night._

As he came within a few feet of me, the clouds must have cleared outside, because the moon came out, and a beam of silver light fell in from the window. The light brought new perspective to his appearance. A much less serious and intimidating person now stood before me, with compassion in his eyes, the same calm compassion I saw last night. He was young, about my age. His cloak was also much clearer to me now; red clouds swirled on a black backdrop.

_Akatsuki..._

He interrupted my thoughts. "I'm sorry about last night. That piece of shit was lying- putting you in danger for his own benefit. He was useless anyway. Un." There was a silence between us, until he spoke again, "I just...wanted to make sure you were okay. It's best if you don't tell anyone that you saw me… Un.

A clash came from downstairs, both the cloaked boy and I turned toward the stairs in panic. "**Don't let anybody in or out of this building- I want it covered!"**An aggressive voice bellowed from the main floor.

"GO!" the cloaked boy yelled, "RUN, GODDAMNIT!"

Senselessly I ran back into my room, where the boy got in front of me and broke open a window. "Close the door and lock it! Un."

"What?"

"It'll only take a second!" he growled at me, so I obeyed. He was working something in his hands, only to throw it out the window. A giant white bird came to life, seemingly out of nothing, it circled around, and came back to the window. "Come on. Un."

Just as I reached the window, the door began to break, and it burst open with one more blow from the other side. A dozen armed Shinobi rushed in. I clambered onto the bird with him as quickly as I could, and away we went, into the morning moonlight.

My heart was pounding, fear still pulsed through my veins.

_Oh God…What kind of trouble have I gotten myself into? _

Before I could begin to imagine, my body stiffened, and shivered. The air was so cold, and grew colder still as the white bird gained altitude. Kneeling on the back of the bird, my arms hugged my torso tightly to keep warm. Izumi's voice echoed in my ears.

"_Heromi…what if it was that rogue ninja, Deidara. He would do something like this, you know."_

_Would he? Could this be?_

"Dei..dara?" I tested my hypothesis.

"Hmm?" He still didn't make eye-contact.

I swallowed hard, "What are we- what am I going to do now? Those shinobi were after **you**, weren't they?"

"Yes."

"They're now after me too, right?"

Silence followed, for a moment that seemed like an eternity. The moonlight had faded, but the pale orb remained in the sky, faintly glowing, as the sun's pinkish warmth took over the horizon.

"C-Can I ask where we are going?"

"Nowhere- We're already there. Un." He turned to look at me for the first time since the flight began, smirked, and said, "Hold on tight, I'm hasty with the descents."

I couldn't respond quickly enough, and screamed when the great bird took a nose-dive toward the earth, passing through the clouds at high speed. I instinctively snatched at the bird's back with the other- to realize the bird was soft, putty-like, and lacked feathers. The consistency of the bird was the least of my worries for the moment. I clenched my eyes shut, we had to be going at least 70km/hour, and practically vertical. Until the bird swooped up- well- to become level again. It flapped its blocky wings, easing the touchdown. With my eyes still pinched shut- I awkwardly slid off the bird, knees quaking once I touched the earth.

"Uh..You can open your eyes now. Un." There was a smile in Deidara's tone. I'm sure I looked like a fool.

My eyes opened, to meet his, only for a moment. The wind picked up, and the gust blew Deidara's long blonde hair away from his handsome face, revealing a mechanical device over his left eye.

_Criminal? Rescuer? __Cyborg?_ _What are you?_

Another person wearing an Akatsuki coat ran up to the bird. "Ohhh Senpai-senpai! Who might this be?" The man, despite his height, had a very childish voice. A swirly orange mask covered his face, with only one eye hole.

"Shut it- Tobi. This wasn't part of the plan. Ran into some complicated business. Un." Deidara grimaced.

I remained silent, not wanting to justify my burdensome state. I felt it was clear that I was unwanted baggage.

"Okay- I won't tell Leader. Do we have to change course then?" The Tobi person

skipped behind Deidara, as he led me from the clearing where we landed, into the thick of the forest.

"Probably. Only a small detour, though. I don't want to be late for our next …confrontation. Un." Deidara avoided eye contact with me, but gave in, "You'll stay here until we get back."

"When will you be back?" I felt my jaw tremble, it was so cold, and it felt even colder, knowing I'll be left alone.

"Can't say for sure. But it won't be more than a few days. Un." He tugged at the open ends of the high collars of his coat, and looked back at Tobi, who was aimlessly standing around, apparently not paying attention to our conversation.

I stared into the darkness of the forest. The morning light couldn't penetrate the overlap of the tall pines. It was frighteningly quiet beyond the clearing.

_There's nothing here for me. I guess now, I can try..._

He turned away, and I knelt to the ground, placing my hands on a bare space on the forest floor. I focused... Trees grew from the earth, and combined with a few that were already present; and transformed. Planks of the cedar wood merged to form a circular hut with a wood-shingled roof, and a sturdy door.

I noticed Deidara's footsteps halted, and I turned back- only to see both he and Tobi staring at the wooden construct.

"Senpai. **Definitely **do not tell Leader."

"Right. Un."

I knew my Kekkei Genkai was rare, and unfortunately somewhat unappreciated in the Hidden Rock, because this Jutsu was a 'Hidden Leaf thing'. But I was proud of my gift, and practiced it in private, using it on occasion to help my herbs grow.

"I'll be fine." I squeaked.

_I hope..._

Deidara, avoiding an awkward goodbye, turned back to the clearing where the white bird had been waiting. "Tobi, the faster we leave, the less time we have to spend working! Un!"

"Oh. Of course, Deidara-Senpai. On my way!"

As the big white bird ascended into the dawn, out of the small clearing, I turned back. I held the poorly-crafted door handle on the shelter, and stood; until my thoughts electrified me.

_Now's my chance. They left me here. I can get away. I should go back. I need to tell Izumi what happened. There has to be a way out._

I ran deep into the forest. Shoeless, I tripped, and scraped my hand on the hard soil. I stumbled, but got up and kept running. There was seemingly no end. No path.

_I can't get away. I have to wait. No.. No this isn't right, I- I should go back. I have to go back and tell the truth! He killed a man! He kidnapped me! No- he saved me..._

I paced, and paced.. until my feet , a cold touch startled me. I looked up, and another kiss of cold planted itself on my cheek.

_Snowfall…_

I ran back to the hut, and confined myself in it. The dead, dried grassy floor made my feet itch. I pressed my hands against the wall, and clumsily pulled out a low shelf, big enough to sleep on.

As I laid there, I was drowning in the silence. It chewed up my brain, leaving so many spaces to think, and argue with myself. Until I drifted to sleep.

* * *

I awoke in the dark, feeling dirty, and wearing yesterday's clothes. My hoodless yellow sweater and thin black capris, If I remember right.

_I need a bath…_

I got up, and rubbed my aching lower back.

_Did I sleep wrong?_

I opened the door to my room, and reached for the lightswitch in the hall. But there wasn't one. When I reached out for anything- there was nothing. I furiously began blinking my eyes, trying to adjust them to the dark.

_What?_

I ran through the forest, feeling as though I was living some event over again. Like deja vu. I ran and ran. There was nothing- but trees, everywhere. There was a faint noise in the distance. I stopped, and shut my mouth to quiet my heavy panting.

_Water!_

I followed the trickling sound, to a stream. I fell on my knees, and crashed my hands into the silty, shallow water.

"Wake up. Wake up! Heromi!"

I threw the water into my eyes, cold as it was; but I was already awake.

_This.. this is real. Okay. Okay. Not okay._

I knelt there in the dirt, hugging my shoulders, and shoved my face into the baggy sleeves. And I cried.

After a while, my sobs mellowed to whimpers, and then to nothing.

_I've got to try. I've got to survive._

I went back to the humble shelter, and in the center, I dug at the ground with my bare hands, carving a bowl for a fire pit. I pulled up the prickly grass, and pried at the roots. My nails were broken and caked with dirt, but I kept digging.

The deeper the pit, the better contained the fire would be. I scooped out the brittle cold soil until my hands were numb. I left the hut, and spent the next few hours searching for stray branches and twigs for the fire. I refused to use live wood.

Warm memories crept into my mind, from a distant childhood; the nomads I once called my family. We sat around the fire, and told stories of ancient beasts and witches. I remember the flickering of the fire, how it danced to the stories, bringing them to life.

I took two of the driest twigs, and rubbed them together pathetically, until the palms of my hands were raw. I was cold, sore, and dirty. And by then I was getting hungry. I couldn't remember how they did it - the gypsies. They could start a fire with their fingertips.

_Maybe I just can't do that. Maybe they could never do that._

I shivered, the cold penetrating my skin in the shade of the hut. I slept without a fire that night.

* * *

**_For those who don't recognize it- This story is a remake of a story that was posted here since October of last year. "The True Story of a Girl they Used to Know". Recently, I had a rush of inspiration and felt an unyielding need to change the plot. _**

**_Chapters will be longer, more detailed, and hopefully better overall. Please enjoy! Feedback is welcomed!_**

**_-NaomiSpice_**


	2. Survive

I woke up with the most awful sensation in my gut. Hunger. Not just hunger from in between meals- hunger from not eating _for days_. There was absolutely nothing. Pine trees don't bear fruit, and even if they did- winter certainly wouldn't be the season for it.

I chewed lightly on my tongue, and tried to remember what food tasted like.

_How long has it been? How long has it __**really**_ _been?_

I don't even know. A week maybe. I could feel my skin tightening around my body. I noticed the weight loss first in my legs, as my ankles became skinny and weak, my thighs were narrower than before. I started to feel desperate. And yes, I'd already tried hunting game. But it's hard to kill animals when they're all hibernating. There were just none to be found.

I did manage to start a fire, and spent most of the empty hours of the day searching for dry wood to keep it burning. I feared if I put it out- I'd never get it started again. I left it burning low, warm enough to keep me alive, but not dangerously high or hot that it could ignite my humble shelter.

_I can't stay like this. I'm going to die out here. Will they come back? Will Deidara come back? Why would he? I was a burden- I got in the way and this is how he disposes of me._

I wanted to be more angry, but I couldn't muster the strength. I laid curled up on the wooden shelf in the hut, and a tear leaked out of my eye.

_This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to have a better life, just like you said..._

"_Why are we leaving the caravan, mama?"_

"_Because we want you to have a better life."_

"_But I like things the way they are now.." I whined._

_My father's hand squeezed mine lightly, "Oh, just wait until you see the village. It's so exciting. You'll never want to leave." I looked up at him, and he smiled, pulling me up into his arms, and plopping me onto the wagon._

"_In The Hidden Rock, we can have a home to call our own, and you'll be able to go to school." My mother draped her purple shawl over her back, and sat beside me on the hooded wagon. Her long, chestnut hair was wavy and curled at the tips like untamed vines. "Wouldn't you like that, Heromi?" She asked._

"_Yeah!" I smiled, "Will I have my own room?"_

"_You can __**even **__have your own room." My father chuckled, and kicked our horse into motion._

"_You can be whoever you want to be. This will be a fresh start for us all." _

I remember my mother's brown eyes, and how they teared up that day. I wonder if she was sad, happy, or scared. Maybe it was all of that. I stroked my long, mahogany hair, thinking of her.

_I bet you never would have predicted this. If we hadn't settled down, we'd all be alive, and together. Well, that leaves one of us. I'm still alive. For now.._

Later that day - whatever day it was- I went back out to the stream. The forest was covered in frost, and the tiny ice crystals on the ground nibbled at the pads of my feet.

_The best thing for me to do is keep drinking water. As long as I have water, I should survive. Should._

The stream was starting to freeze. It wasn't very deep, only a few inches or so. The edges of the water were crusted with a thin layer of ice, and as I dipped my hands into the slow-moving water, the ripples disturbed them, and they broke away, and drifted down the current.

I pulled my cupped hands to my lips, and realized that it didn't feel as cold as I remembered. My fingertips were turning purple, and I couldn't feel anything. I checked my toes, they were less purple, but still. I scooped up another handful of water before making my way back to my shelter.

_Hypothermia._

But something in the shadows of the trees moved. I stopped, put both of my feet down; trying not to make a sound. Whatever it was, it moved again, weaving between the trees. I held my breathing steady, until I finally saw them; a doe and her fawn. They didn't seem to care I was there, but they stopped, only a few feet before me. the doe's big dark eyes blinked slowly, and she wiggled her ears. Her baby trembled by her side.

_They must be hungry…_

My knees shook as I knelt to the ground, and pushed my numb hands on the earth. Without forcing too hard, I let my Chakra flow into the ground, and new, green grass sprouted between us.

They were startled, and stepped back, but then immediately lowered their heads, and began groping the grass with their lips and teeth.

My stomach didn't growl anymore- it hadn't for days now. I was just so used to the hunger. But then, as I watched the deer eat before me. I couldn't help but wish I could do the same.

Out of insane curiosity, I pulled up some grass with my hand, and ate it. Did it taste bad? No. In fact, I couldn't taste anything at all. But after that first mouthful, my stomach began to growl- and I kept eating.

_If they can survive, so can I._

We ate together for a while, and by the time we were finished, the grass had been neatly clipped, there was barely anything left. They looked up at me, the human, sitting against a tree, with grass in her mouth. The fawn's spindly legs wobbled toward me, and he sniffed my skin.

Slowly, I raised a hand, and scratched the underside of his chin. His eyes closed happily. His spirit spoke to me, "Friend, friend, friend."

I stood, and to my surprise, the deer didn't leave. They stayed where they were. As I walked away, back to my hut, I looked back, to find that they had followed me. I left the hut door open, and poked at my low-burning fire with a stick. The deer cautiously stepped in, their nostrils wiggled, taking in the smells.

The doe walked in, and bent her knees, laying on the ground near the fire pit. Her baby flicked its tail, and laid against her.

A new sense of hope sparked inside me. What was killing me the most wasn't the hunger; it was the loneliness.

_If they can survive, so can I. We can survive._

Somehow, I woke up between the deer, leaning against the mother, and holding her baby in the crook of my arms. My eyes lulled open because he'd tried to dart away, but I held onto him. There was a strange thud from outside. I carefully put the fawn down, and went to open the door, but I couldn't. I threw myself against it, again, and again, until it finally gave way- to reveal 3 feet of snow in every direction.

Again, a thud drew my ears away, and a lump of snow fell from on of the pine trees, onto the roof of the hut. My body shivered, and I drew back into the hut. I turned to my friends.

The doe was laying exactly where she was a moment ago; she was staring at me. Her ears were back, and her eyes were sad, as if to say, "What are we going to do now?"

The world was covered in snow, and the only dry firewood left was already burning. From the hut floor, I created another meal for us all. Somehow it was less enjoyable the second time. Clearly it was just me, because the deer were chowing happily.

_What will happen to them when I leave? Will they be alright? Assuming that those Akatsuki come back for me. Deidara said he would._

I huddled against the wall while my friends ate, and hugged my bony knees.

_Please come back…_

I couldn't wait any longer, I needed water. We'd gone nearly a full day without it, but the more I ate, the more water I craved. There was still snow on the ground; only a few inches had melted with the daylight, but there wasn't much of that in a forest like that anyway. As I stepped out of the shelter, barefoot in the snow, the deer stood behind me. When I hesitated, the fawn nudged my behind, I bravely took a leap out.

My teeth chattered after my first few steps. It took a lot of work to trudge through the thick snow. Glancing behind me, I watched the deer as they lifted their skinny legs above the snow, one foot at a time. The fawn was struggling, his torso was barely above the snow, and as he attempted to leap, he only fell face-first into the snow again.

I went back, and scooped him up in my arms. Once we got to the stream, I set him down, only to realize that it was frozen over, and covered with snow.

_No!_

Panicking, I shuffled my frigid hands through the snow, for a stone. I found one near the edge of the stream. I brushed away the snow, and used the stone to pound at the ice, praying that there would be running water beneath it. I broke through, and chipped away the icy fragments, only to find more icy fragments.

_It's frozen solid._

My chest heaved, and I tried not to cry. I looked up at the sky, only to see webs of layered pine needles that blocked the warmth of the sun.

Then, a crunching sensation rattled my ears. The deer were leaning over the bank of the frozen stream, and chewing on the chunks of ice.

_If they can survive, so can I. We can survive._

I took the stone, and smashed more of the ice into bite-sized pieces, and crunched some in the back of my mouth.

We had to huddle close that night, my friends and I- because the fire had finally given out- and by that, I mean the coals finally went cold. It was the coldest night I'd ever experienced, or maybe it only seemed that way because my "fire" was gone. But seriously, it was still damn cold.

* * *

I don't remember being scooped up, or being carried onto the giant white bird, But I remember the small voice outside my mind, "Don't worry, it will be okay."

"Tobi, don't be stupid- she can't hear you. Un."

My eyes opened, and I was surrounded by sky. Air rushed past my face, and I shielded my eyes from the sun.

"Oh, she's awake! Senpai Senpai!"

There was no response. I felt dizzy. "Where are my friends?" I asked.

Tobi was holding me in his arms, and his orange mask looked down at me, "Who?"

"The deer. Where are they?" My voice was scratchy. I wasn't used to using my voice.

"What the hell is she babbling about?" Deidara hollered from the head of the bird.

"I dunno. I didn't see any deer." Tobi shrugged.

We flew for hours, I know we did- but it didn't seem that long. But I felt weaker than ever. Safe- so it seemed, and my body decided to give out.

I coughed, and gagged. My stomach rolled into itself. The grass was coming up. Fast. My body finally rejected it- Tobi held me out just in time for me to purge over the side of the bird's wings.

"We're almost there. Un."

_Almost...where?_

Another dizzying hour was spent in the air, until Deidara landed the bird, taking care in being silent. He landed us in the forests outside the walls of a large village. It was warmer here, wherever we were. It was like going backwards from winter to autumn in one day. Though it was nearing sunset, there was enough light in the sky to tell that the trees were deciduous, not pines, and their leaves were changing colors.

After we all clambered down from the bird, Deidara reverse-summoned it, placing its smaller form into his pocket. He looked around, then up at the sky.

Tobi still held me in his arms, but he gently set me down, making sure I could stand on my own before letting go.

"I'm fine."

"It's not far! We are almost there!" He chimed.

We headed toward the wall of the city, where there was an old rusty gate, probably used as a drain in case of a flood. Through the gate, there was a tunneled path. Once behind the gate, Deidara paused, and pulled out a small lamp and a match from his bag. He lit the match with a quick strike against the stone wall, and illuminated the lamp. The glow was enough to see for a few feet ahead, but it was pitch darkness beyond that. I wondered how far it really was, or where it lead to.

"Let's go. Un." Deidara led the way, and Tobi walked beside me.

It was apparent that some parts were recently made; there were stretches of the wall that was an older stone, and some parts that were just bedrock. As we stepped over haphazardly strewn bricks and stones, nobody spoke a word. Further along, there were thick roots growing between the stone walls. Tobi managed to trip on them at least twice.

When the tunnel came to a dead-end, we took a shabby ladder up through a trapdoor into what looked like a cellar. It was a dark and musty room, with stone walls and floor. There was a light from above and to the right. A doorway opened, and a figure appeared.

"You're back, I wasn't expecting you. You'll have to excuse the guests." A pleasant voice came from the figure.

"We're not staying long." Deidara sighed, and shook off his Akatsuki coat. Tobi did the same.

The figure from atop the stairs moved toward us, and flipped on a weak light. He was middle-aged, with short blue-grey hair. He smiled in the dim light, "And who is this?"

I didn't say anything, it seemed like the question wasn't really directed at me.

"We're leaving her with you. Un." Deidara gave his coat to the man, and exchanged it for a plain hooded one.

The man scowled, "That's not what I asked." He turned to me, softening his tone, "What's your name, dear?"

I hesitated, "Heromi…"

Deidara's gaze darted at me for a moment, but then looked away.

Tobi piped up, "Deidara and I rescued her when we were in the Hidden Rock!"

The man chuckled, "How brave of you." He took Tobi and Deidara's coats and hid them in a chest under the steps. He turned back to me, and took my hand, "My name is Sarin."

I followed the three of them up the stairs, to a main floor. It was warm and the air was dry. There was music playing and sounds of laughter and conversation. We took a left through an open doorway, into what appeared to be a lobby.

_Is this an Inn?_

We took the next open doorway, to a winding hall with doors. We then took a platformed set of stairs to the third floor.

_I-I don't have the energy for this._

Going up all those stairs in such a short time was more than my weak body could handle. I held my breathing and swallowed my whimpers, and kept going.

The man, Sarin, stopped shortly, and unlocked a door not far from the stairs. "This room will be yours, Miss Heromi."

I was startled slightly by the mention of my name, and timidly stepped in the room; before collapsing.

He rushed to my side, and tried to pull me up, "Are you alright?" He tried to pull me up by my torso, and it was then, after feeling my ribcage, he understood. "What happened to her?"

Nobody spoke at first, I felt like I was going to throw up again. Cold beads of sweat collected on my face.

"Answer me!" Sarin yelled.

It was Tobi who answered, "We saved her from being taken hostage in the Hidden Rock, but we were summoned by Leader and couldn't take her with us…"

"So you left her? Alone? For how long- she's nothing but skin and bone!"

They said nothing. Sarin helped me up, and carried me to the bed in the room. He touched my forehead with the back of his hand, then inspected my hands and feet. "Some pretty bad frostbite… I'll have one of my maids come up with some food. Please rest."

The door closed, and I was left to lie there alone. It didn't help much, being on a bed. The soft, plush blankets and pillows were a practically foreign sensation. The floor would have been just fine. Not like it mattered anyway. I heard yelling from outside.

"What were you thinking? Three and a half _weeks_? In the northern winter- it's amazing she lasted that long."

"It's not **my** problem! Un!"

"Yes, it is **your** problem. If you hadn't been **reckless** and gone back into the village-"

"**Shut up old man**!" Deidara barked.

"But Sarin-Sama, she has the Wood-Style. She created a shelter and everything. We assumed-"

"What?" He sounded astonished.

Tobi continued, "We assumed she would be _okay_ until we returned."

Sarin repeated, "The Wood Style?"

"Yeah. Un."

There was a moment of quiet, before I heard Sarin mumble, "Get to your rooms before somebody sees you. We can discuss this later."

I must have finally dozed off, but my eyes were awake when the door to the room opened. Sarin walked in, and helped me up.

"Are you feeling better at all?"

"A little."

"Come with me, child."

The halls were still lit, but everything was silent. It must have been late at night- or very early in the morning. Sarin took me down the stairs, back to the lobby, and behind the hidden door where the cellar was.

I stopped at the top of the steps.

_They're going to kill me, I know it. I was a burden, and since I didn't die out there in the forest, they'll have to finish the job. They're going to kill me- because I know too much. I'm going to die. I'm going to die._

"Are you alright?" Sarin turned back.

I shake my head, and a tear leaks from the inside of my eye. I clung to the doorframe, hiding my face.

"No.. no it's alright. Everything's fine." The old man moved up a few steps, so his eyes were level with mine, "Nothing bad is going to happen, I promise." He took my hand, and gently tugged me down the stairs. Tobi and Deidara were nowhere in sight, which eased my mind a little.

Sarin then led me into a secret room behind a cabinet. It looked to be some kind of laboratory. The air was stale and moist, and in the center of the room was a chair with straps at the legs and arm rests. Dark and light stains splattered the floor. My stomach lurched.

_They are going to kill me! They're going to interrogate me- and then kill me!_

"Th-that night! In the alley, I swear, I don't know anything! I was being framed! You don't understand, it was all a misunderstanding. I don't know anything-!"

Sarin's eyes widened, and he took a disturbed glance around the room. He took hold of my shoulders, and it was then that I realized I'd been trembling.

"We're not going to ask anything of you. But if you want to stay here, we're going to have to cut and bleach your hair, that way, if you're seen, nobody will recognize you."

I tried to feel secure, but, if you were me then, you'd be skeptical too. I looked down with tearful eyes at my long, mahogany, braided hair for the last time.


	3. Amani

The bucket was nearly half-full, my hair was gone- well- cut to my shoulders. I lost at least 8 inches. I'm sure I looked completely different, but there wasn't a mirror for me to look in. I was bent over the bucket, sitting in the creepiest fucking dungeon chair you could possibly imagine.

"This might be cold."

A chilling ooze spilled into my hair, and Sarin rubbed it all around my scalp, making sure to cover my whole head.

"Wh-where are we? What country is this?" I stuttered.

"You're in the Land of Fire, in Konohagakure."

_Konoha?_

When he finished slathering my hair with bleach, I heard him move to the sink in the back to wash his hands.

"Best to let it sit for a few minutes, I'll be back."

I sat in silence, before the tears came. I was all alone now. The weight of the situation pounded on my heart.

_I'm on my own now. __I'm hundreds of miles away from home._ _I'm all alone. And I still don't know what's going to happen next. __I'm so weak._

The girl inside my head was scared; the girl on the outside was sad and lost. I remembered my home, the warm life I had, before it was torn away from me. I missed Izumi. Her bright eyes and spontaneous energy; I missed the way she comforted me after that night.

_I'm so sorry Izumi. I'm so sorry. __I wish I had told you._

After ten minutes of silence, and the awkward picking at the dirt under my fingernails, the door to the secret room opened. I quickly wiped away my tears and looked up. Deidara and Tobi came in, followed by Sarin.

"Ohhh! Your hair is such a fantastic color!" Tobi squealed.

I sniffled, "Oh...is it?" I couldn't see.

"We'd better get that bleach out, before it starts to burn your scalp." Sarin motioned for me to stand, and he had me lean over the counter by the sink, as he scrubbed out the slimy bleach with a coarse sponge.

I could feel Deidara's eyes on me. I felt that he was annoyed, but he remained silent, leaning against the stone wall with his arms crossed.

I pushed my hair forward as much as I could to keep the bleach from running into my eyes, but my hair was so much shorter, it was hard to hold on to. I pinched my eyes shut just to be sure.

The water turned from warm to cold, as Sarin finished scrubbing my hair. He wrung it out over the sink before handing me a towel to wrap it in. I couldn't really wrap it; it was too short for that. I just groped the ends with the towel, and saw the color for myself.

The bleach hadn't drained all the color from my hair. The mahogany had faded to a dusty pinkish-purple. I continued to shake out my hair, but my head grew dizzy, and I stopped.

"You can come out with us, miss. Dinner should be ready now." Sarin sent me a smile, though I knew it was only out of pity.

We quietly made our way back up to "my" room; Tobi kept a careful watch on me as I was going up the stairs. I was still tired, but I made it the second time without falling over.

I took a better look around the space. It was a suite, with a kitchenette and stacked washing machines. There were two doors on a wall that came out slightly, one was probably a closet, and the other, a bathroom. A tea table and cushions was at the center of the room, leaving the bed and vanity to the back by the large, circular screen window.

_A room like this back in Iwagakure would have cost a month's rent for one night. The standard of living is certainly higher here._

As we each took a seat at the tea table, there was a short knock at the door, and then it opened. A short old woman scuttled in with a tray of food. Her grey hair was tied in a knotted bun, and her frail body was wrapped in a navy kimono.

"Thank you, Moeka-san. This is perfect." Sarin grinned, and helped her to unload the tray, setting down 4 bowls of steaming noodles.

_We're all going to eat? Together? Me, and...them?_

I kept my thoughts to myself, avoiding rudeness. I rolled my fingers into a fist to keep them from trembling, and my eyes shifted nervously between the strange faces around me.

Deidara and Tobi shuffled off their replacement cloaks, revealing their casual ninja attire.

Sarin arranged the bowls before us, and sighed, "Enjoy, my friends."

Deidara immediately dug into his bowl, while Sarin silently prayed. I waited for Tobi to remove his mask, but he didn't. He slid it to one side, and turned his head away from the rest of us, and fed noodles to his face with chopsticks with ease.

And there I was, with a bowl of regular food- real, sustaining food- in front of me, and I suddenly didn't know what to do. Steadily as I could, I cracked the fresh chopsticks apart, and sifted them through the wavy noodles, trying to feel comfortable. Scooping the noodles to my lips, I remember my friends in the forest. For the first time in what felt like forever, I was eating without them.

But then I took those soft, warm, brothy noodles onto my tongue, and something flipped a switch. I went from starving, to _**starving**_.

"How is it?" Sarin asked, collectively.

"Very good! Thank you Sarin-Sama!" Tobi chirped.

"MmM." Deidara muttered with his cheeks stuffed.

And I nodded as I did the same.

When the slurping slowed, some conversation sparked.

"So, miss Heromi." Sarin began, clearing his throat politely, "Is it true that you have the wood style?"

The other two ninja at the table were seemingly not paying attention, particularly Deidara, who was tipping his bowl above his head to drink the leftover hot soup.

"Yes. But- I'm no shinobi.." I look away.

_I've never talked about it before._

"Do you know how you came to possess it?" He inquires, this time, more seriously.

I hesitated at the strange question. "I was born with it? I think. Nobody in my family ever practiced jutsu."

"Really? And you're from the Hidden Rock?"

_Not really, but, to make things simpler.._

"Yes."

"Well, if you're going to keep your cover, and stay alive, I say that jutsu of yours is our best shot at getting you a good story."

_A good story? Cover? What is he getting at?_

"Have you heard of a man named Orochimaru? Un?" Deidara squints.

I shake my head timidly.

"Hmm." Deidara continued, "Orochimaru is a legendary Sanin especially well known for his human experiments. After Hashirama of the Leaf, nobody else was ever known to possess the Wood Style. Orochimaru was determined to replicate it artificially. Un."

"There was only one survivor from these experiments, and he's here, in Konoha." Sarin said, "But if we could convince the Hokage that there was _another survivor_, you could claim amnesia, and be accepted here, just as Yamato has."

"And it's not like you'd be faking the jutsu either!" Tobi exclaimed, waving his hands about.

I sat quietly. My mind drew a complete blank on the situation.

"But you'll have to be a very good actress. And we'll have to change your name."

_Change my name..._

"And you can stay here, in my Inn." There was a moment of silence; maybe he had expected me to say something. "What name do you want to go by, Miss?"

The air went from tense- to exhilarating – to tense – and now, it was still. All of their eyes were on me. I smiled, but then cleared my throat, "I'll take the name Amani."

Sarin smiled, pulling the wrinkles around his eyes, "Welcome to Konoha, Amani."

After Sarin's nod of approval, Deidara stood, and popped his neck tirefully, "Tobi and I are staying here for the night. We can discuss the rest of the plan tomorrow. Un."

Tobi did the same, and let out an exaggerated yawn, "Tobi is going to sleep now." Upon request, he assisted Sarin with picking up the dishes on the table, and left.

Deidara was the only one in the room. He was draping the bland dark cloak back over his shoulders as he headed out the door.

Hastily, I stood, and called out, faintly, "Wait..." – but I immediately regretted any interjection.

"What? Un?" he asked, with irritation in his tone.

I winced, feeling that my statement was inappropriate. But since he was already angry, I thought it could only make things worse if I didn't answer. "I… wanted to thank you for bringing me here. You didn't have to-"

"I know."

He turned and left, leaving the air hanging still and dry.

_He didn't have to, and he knows… he wanted to bring me here. He did come back, after that night- to make sure I was alright. Why? Why didn't he leave me to be captured as he escaped alone into the moonlight, like the solitary, ruthless criminals the Akatsuki are made out to be? Why did he come back for me when I was left to die in the forest? Maybe because, Akatsuki or not, he is still human._

* * *

I felt dirty. I'd been wearing the same clothes since I fled Iwagakure. They were worn, filthy, and even torn in some places. Whether I acted like one or not, I certainly looked like a refugee. My own filth never bothered me before, but somehow, being in a civilized place again brought it to my conscious.

I gazed around the room. The Inn was incredibly well-kept and still decorated in the traditional tatami ways. The floors were polished wood, covered by bamboo mats. The furniture was all a light-amber wood. Against the wall next to the bed was a circular 6-pane window, with thin, dark trim. It was all so serene, like a dream. After a moment of quiet, I decided to check the vanity/dresser to see if there were any clothes. Sometimes nice hotels would have a robe or slippers, but I was out of luck. I opened each drawer, only to find the smell of fresh resin and a room service card.

I sighed, tugging at my sweater, examining the frayed edges.

_One step at a time._

I looked in the mirror on the vanity. I looked tired, and dry. My lips were chapped and my dark green eyes swelled slightly with dark circles. My hair still felt coarse and greasy from not having been truly washed in a while.

The new cut was really not too bad. Sarin did a good job. Pink was not my color, but I tried to keep an open mind, thinking that maybe i would get used to it. I turned my head from side to side, looking at it from all angles. Sometimes in the light it looked light pink, but other times, when the light was less direct, it looked dusty and purple. The bleach probably wasn't spread around very evenly.

I shrugged, and left my room.

There weren't many people in the halls, but it was clearly daytime. A door down the hall shuts, and a young man with a traveler's backpack strolled past me.

"Good afternoon." He waved.

"Hello." I waved back awkwardly.

_I didn't know him, but he waved? Are people just generally this nice here? Even as shitty as I look?_

I insecurely pulled at my clothes, feeling utterly disgusting. But I wanted to find Sarin. I turned back down the stairs, and down the short hallway out into the lobby. There was a small seating area, but most of the lobby was closed off by a decorative orange screen. The smell of food wafted from behind. I turned to the right, toward the main entrance and the front desk.

Sarin was behind the desk, comparing some papers with another employee. They nodded, and then made a scribble on one of the papers. Then Sarin waved him off.

He must've seen me from the corner of his eye, because he immediately turned my way, and smiled.

I approached the desk, making sure nobody else was around.

"Good morning Miss Amani."

_Oh. That's right._

"Good morning." I paused, but the old man kept his attention on me, "Are they still here?"

"No, they left early this morning."

_Oh._

"WIll they come back?" I suddenly felt abandoned again. Even though there was a plan this time, it was still a heartbreaking feeling.

"Oh yes. Maybe in a week or so."

He seemed so confident, and not at all bothered by the fact that they weren't just leaving on vacation or to work some desk job. They were going away for a week to do criminal deeds.

_But why stay with Sarin? Why here?_

It wasn't the time for more questions like those. I felt naked talking about the Akatsuki in the daylight.

"We're going to see the Hokage tonight. So it's better if you don't wash up too much."

I blinked, "Tonight?" and tried to not look suspicious.

Sarin remained calm and steady, "Having a story isn't the only aspect of it- we'll have to create the perfect situation for it all. First encounters are critically important."

I nodded. It seemed like the situation was getting heavier every time we talked about it. And there I always was, my whole life, feeling like a nobody- I blended in a lot.

_But now, I'm becoming somebody. I'm becoming Amani._

"Until then, Miss Amani, would you like to help me with a few things? I'm terribly busy." Sarin took a distressed look through a clip board of papers.

"Of course."

I figured it was the least I could do. He was, afterall, letting me have a full suite for free. And so the rest of the day, I spent my time organizing some files at the desk. Specifically, guest check-in/out sheets that were organized by surname. Of course, some guests came to visit more than once, so they had to be clustered accordingly. In particular, I found a large group of files in a folder without a name. There was just a black "X" on the name tab.

Sarin wasn't around- he had to make a trip to the bank before it closed for the night. So I peeked into the file. It wasn't full of regular check-in/out sheets. It seemed to be a series of transactions. **Big ones.** And all of it- _profit._

_What is this?_

Before I could read through them, Sarin returned, and I quickly stashed the folder in with the others, keeping it at the back of the alphabet, between "W" and "Y".

Sarin takes a look at the piles of half-arranged files and greets my gaze with a wrinkled, cheeky smile. "Well, It's about time. Are you ready?"

I sat quietly in my room for a moment longer. Sarin was going to come get me when he was ready to leave. He said he had to check in with his staff, and tell them "not to ask questions". I guess they all knew about the frequent Akatsuki guests.

I replayed the coming events in my mind like a silent movie. Sarin was going to run with me to the capitol building, where the Hokage's guards would see how flustered he was. After briefly explaining the situation to the guards- our first leap of faith rode on the event that the guards decided to summon Lady Tsunade – or not. We didn't really have a plan for the "or not" part. I guess the best move we had, was to beg.

After that, I was supposed to look fearful, timid, and anxious. Once we meet with the Hokage, we were to simply answer her questions. From there – it was either a hit or miss. It wasn't much to go off of at all.

"Remember, you were tortured and experimented on since you were young, the Hokage knows what she's looking for. Give it everything you've got." Sarin's words echoed in my ears, and I tried to put them into perspective.

There was a light knock at my door, an I answered it, knowing that it was Sarin. He calmly gestured me to follow him. Rather than leaving out the main entrance, Sarin led me through the kitchen and out the back door. It was the middle of the night- chilly, but not cold. Not nearly as cold as it could be.

My chest shivers remembering the frozen wilderness.

"We're just planting a little lie. If there's ever a question thrown at you that you can't answer, put it straight and tell them you don't know, or you don't remember." Sarin smiled, resting a hand on my shoulder. "I have faith."

I was suddenly consumed by fear.

_This was the Hokage we're lying to. No lie, in that case, is small._

It didn't seem right. Some old man, who's known me for a day, is risking everything to lie to his country in order to help me have a normal life.

"Why are you helping me?"

"Because…" he hesitated, "Deidara asked me to."

_But why?_

I was surprised, and a question that had been brewing inside me for a while finally made its way out. "How could you be so loyal to somebody like… _him_?"

Sarin laughed, "What, you mean somebody with his _reputation_, or somebody as old as me listening to somebody as _young _as him?" He settled his shoulders, searching my gaze in the darkness.

"Both, I think. You respect him like he's your senior, yet..."

"I know. It's because aside from what you might see, he's alright. He never wanted to be a part of the Akatsuki, you know. But he pays me well to keep him and his business hidden, and so I return his generosity with respect. It's not easy for a troubled artist to make friends, you know."

_An artist? Are we talking about the same person? The person who brutally murdered one of my kin, and stole me away to leave me to die?_

"But you are not fond him?" Sarin broke my thoughts, as if he were reading into them from the outside.

Deidara's dark smirk flashed in my eyes, then his scowl, and then his calm, teal eyes. "I don't know."

"Being indecisive will only make it worse."

"I feel..." I began, trying to keep my throat from closing up, "So scared when I'm around him."

"I don't think you have any reason to be afraid."

"That night was horrifying... I thought I was going to die."

"Sounds to me like you're still in shock."

I took a deep breath.

_I'm still in shock._

After Sarin didn't say anything for a moment, he turned, and started down the alley behind the Inn. I objected, huddling my hands to my chest. "Sarin I don't think I can do this. Do I need to do this?"

He looked back, suddenly, and with care in his eyes. "Well… no. But isn't it what you want?"

I closed my eyes, and thought really hard.

_Do I want a normal life? Do I deserve it? What would I do once I had one? __I'd never had a normal life before, not really. There was always my Kekki Genkai to hide, and my family's past. How much would I have to lie to keep this new life? __Is it worth the effort? Is anything worth the effort?_

He stepped closer, and looked at me directly, and it was as if his eyes were saying_, "Don't be afraid."_

"I'm not afraid." I said.

"Good. We should go, it's getting late, but we don't want to be too late. We don't want to miss out on speaking to Lady Tsunade." Sarin glanced at the dark, starry autumn sky, and then took firm hold of my hand.

And so Sarin and I ran through the streets of Konohagakure, at 1:37 in the morning. The street was coarse and icy on the pads of my feet, a feeling I was all too familiar with. I began to pant as I ran harder, keeping up with Sarin who was "dragging" me by the wrist, theatrically.

After 5 blocks of breathing heavily in the cold, dark air, we arrived at the capitol building. Sarin let me go, and I stood back as he pounded fearlessly at the doors.

"Open up! Open up!" he shouted.

The doors creaked open, and a military shinobi filled the entrance, "What is it?"

Sarin struggled to keep his breath steady, "There's a girl here, who came to my door pleading for help. She claims to be one of Orochimaru's victims!"

The guard's eyes widened, perhaps in disbelief, or shock, I wasn't sure. He looked behind Sarin at me, and I did my best to look helpless and frightened.

"Wait here." he quickly shut the door, and I could hear fast footsteps inside the building.

Sarin turned to me, "This is good. Stay calm, but act anxious."

In all reality, I didn't **have **to act anxious, I truly was. More fast footsteps were heard beyond the door, and soon, it opened again. This time there were 3 guards.

"Come with us." one of them said.

We followed the men up to the 4th floor, and into what must have been the Hokage's office. She was the woman I had heard of, for sure. Well, I hadn't so much heard of her as I have her breasts. They were as grand as their reputation made them out to be, that was for sure. Her pale blonde hair was tied back, in a low ponytail, and she seemed to be wearing a robe over her night clothes. Her elbows rested on the table, with her hands close to her mouth, entranced in seriousness.

Her presence was overwhelming, and unnerving.

"You are Sarin, I'm told. The innkeeper?" She raised an eyebrow to us.

"Yes Mi'lady." Sarin bowed respectively.

"Explain your situation."

"I was awake late, tallying my accounts when this girl came to the door, pleading for help." Sarin looked at me, timidly.

"Go on…" Tsunade pointed her gaze at me, inspecting my appearance.

"She started rambling about a snake man, and a horrible place, and something about needles and wood. It wasn't making sense at first, but then… I considered her age."

Tsunade's eyes darted from Sarin, back to me. She was analyzing **everything**, I could tell. The torn, dirty clothes, my filthy skin and matted, (now much shorter) greasy hair.

"Tell me, girl. What is your name?"

I cleared my throat, and swallowed the tasteless stress lump that was choking me. "A-Amani. My name is Amani."

"Amani… Why did you come here?"

"I- remember this place...from my dreams."

"How old are you?" her eyes squinted at me, trying to guess at my age herself, probably.

_Shit. I don't know how old I'm supposed to be._

"I don't know… exactly."

"Where were you before you came here?" Her voice was tense. Her guards stood firm at her side.

"A dark place. I don't remember a lot, but what I do remember is…" I start to sob, crushing under the pressure, "just… Horrible things."

A guard leaned in to speak to Tsunade, I was looking down, and fell onto my knees. I hoped I was being convincing enough.

_I can't hide again. Not after all I've been through. This has to work. Please, please accept it._

"Sarin, you say she spoke of wood and needles? Did she give you any other details?"

"No, Mi'lady."

"I – I can make wood with my hands." I stopped crying, but my voice still quivered.

"_What?"_

"_That's impossible!"_

"_This means-!"_ The guards started to whisper.

Tsunade slammed her fist on the table. "Hush!"

I made a simple hand formation, and thin, woody beams grew from my palms, and I extended them out to show the Hokage my art.

Her eyes were agape, and her hands had fallen away from her face, but they trembled close to her lips. "Impossible…"


	4. A Fresh Start

"Please," I pleaded, "Let me stay. I've got nowhere else to turn. The only good memories I have are of **this place**."

The wood beams retracted into my palms, I looked solemnly into the Hokage's eyes.

"I just want to start over."

Coming from either Amani or Heromi, that much was true.

Tsunade shot up from her desk, "Sarin, the girl will remain in your care for the time being. We will discuss matters again next week." She pinched her eyes shut, and rubbed her temples with her thumbs.

"Yes, Lady Hokage." Sarin bowed again.

"There are more urgent situations at hand, but I promise we will get this sorted out." The Hokage walked out, and some guards followed her. Two stayed.

"We can lead you out." One of them said, motioning to help me up.

I took his arm, and nearly collapsed again, but not as an act. I was tired, relieved, and the wave of stress was beginning to come over me. "Th-Thank you."

When we arrived back at the Inn, Sarin embraced me. "You did it."

I returned the embrace, "Only thanks to your help."

Sarin released his grip, and patted me on the head, "Go get some rest, a hot bath, and I can make you something to eat if you'd like."

"That would be… great." I smiled, the most true smile I had in a long time. True relief flooded through me. I ran back to my room, the empty halls were no longer eerie, nor did the stillness of the air render me helpless. I was free.

I flung open my door, and darted around to shut it, letting my breath settle, I turned back to view the humble space.

Not a moment later, I made a b-line for the bathroom, where I decided to start a bath and slid the screen door closed behind me. The steamy water gushed into the stone pool, filling the room with dense vapor. I undressed, and attempted to examine myself in the mirror. I was bruised, my skin was dry and cracking in some places, and minor scrapes littered my hands and feet. My hair was filthy.

"Not for long!" I smiled at the girl in the mirror, and she smiled back at me. I turned off the water, to the bath, and watched as the ripples dissipated. I dipped my feet into the calm water. Standing in the bath, I let the steam fill my nose, and clear my sinuses. I sank into the water, letting it cleanse my pores. I reached up to pinch my nose and close my eyes, as I dunked my head under the water, and shaking it about, to let it soak. When I returned to the surface, I laid my head back on an indentation in the molded stone rim of the bath.

My eyes flashed open. I must have fallen asleep, though I didn't feel any more rested. The water was now only lukewarm, and discolored from the dirt on my skin. I pulled my hands above the water, and the temperature of the room hit them like a cold breeze. They were pruned, and my scraped knuckles burned.

_I'd better wash up the best I can. The water might still be dirty, but in all seriousness, it's going to take a couple decent baths to get truly clean._

I reached for the herbal soap that was on the rim of the bath, untied the wrappings, and began to scrub myself all over. I desperately lathered the shampoo through my hair, though the resistance of my natural oils deterred most of it.

_Maybe I'll need more than a couple baths._

Taking a moment to find it, I managed to pull the plug, draining the water. More like, draining the soapy sludge. I stepped out shivering. Once dry, I wrapped myself in a towel, before I realized:

_I have no clean clothes. Well, shit._

I despised the clothes I wore to get here, and there was nothing in those drawers, as I remembered from before. I peered out of the bathroom, only to find a folded package on my bed. I opened it, and inside were a set of black pants and a teal tank, with a wrap-around waistband. In between those, were a halter-neck bra and a pair of trainer's spandex.

_Thank you, Sarin._

Putting on clean clothes was a comfort I hadn't known in more than 2 weeks.

I dressed myself, the clothes fit well, and they kept me warm. I was brushing out my hair with a comb I found in front of the vanity, when there was a knock at the door.

"Yes?" I called.

The door was pushed open. Sarin walked in with a tray of food. "Egg rolls and hot tea?"

I immediately set the tiny comb down, leaping over to him, "Oh, yes!"

Sarin chuckled, "Have a nice bath?"

"Yes, thank you."

He had a look on his face, like he wanted to stay, and comfort me, or tell me that everything was going to be okay. For now, everything was okay. I wasn't scared anymore. I think the old man knew that, "Enjoy your dinner." He waved as he left the room.

After he left, I had a thought. "Sarin?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you going through all of this trouble to help me?"

He sighed, "I want the best for you. I only did this because…"

"Because Deidara asked you to." I finished.

"Not entirely." Sarin stepped closer, and gave me a sad smile, "I once had a niece, who lived with me after my brother and his wife were killed when their home caught fire. I raised her until she was a young woman, and I tried to give her a normal life, but… there must have been a deep anger writhing inside her that I never knew. One day we had a fight, and she left. I've been told by many reports that she is now a rogue-nin."

My eyes welled up with tears. Sarin was a good man. _He didn't do this for Deidara… He did this because I reminded him of his niece. _The tears burned my eyes, and I blinked them away.

"What was her name?"

"Kagura."

"I'm sorry… Sarin."

"No apologies, please."

I stood in silence. He never broke his stare, and his stare never let out a tear. In his age, it was probably useless to cry.

"Sarin, I –"

"You deserve a new start."

And with that, he left. I had a few sobering thoughts alone, until I decided to do something about it. I wanted to tell Izumi what was going on.

_She needs to know that I'm okay. I can't imagine how worried she must be, or confused._

Inside of the tiny drawer beside the bed was a notepad and a pen. I easily filled 4 of the small slips of lined paper as I slowly at my food.

I re-read the last line to myself:

_I can't tell you where I am, or who I'm with, but it doesn't matter._

I scoffed at myself.

_If it doesn't matter, then why am I writing about it? If I can never tell her, why do I even bother? I'm dead to her. I'm dead to everybody. It doesn't matter._

I crunched the notes in my palm, and tossed them across the room. I reached for my tea mug to take a sip, only to find that it was empty; only one drop slid between my lips.

_Well, guess that means it's time to go to sleep._

I then realized the room was rather bright. The sun had begun to come up, leaving paths of warm orange light between the screen window.

I dreamt of flying with birds that night.

* * *

I slept away the anxiety and the stress of the unknown for 2 days. Sarin said he came in and checked on me a few times, but never woke me. Part of me was glad for it; the other part was frustrated because I lost _2 days_. I don't know what I would have missed in that time- but I still hated the feeling of lost time. When I did wake up, it was midday on a Saturday. But it didn't feel like midday, or a Saturday. My room wasn't very bright. The sunlight was smothered by dark, husky clouds threatening to bring snow. I didn't dress myself right away. I just kind of sat on the edge of my bed, staring into space. Serenity was a strange emotion.

There was commotion outside in the hall- light, rapid footsteps, it sounded like hundreds of them, and then there was a cry, a shout, and laughter. They were just children; _guests_.

Hopefully the constant anonymous company would help me blend in. I wanted to go talk to Sarin, but I assumed he was rather busy with the traffic of people. I decided to take another bath, to finally get clean.

Baths aren't nearly as enjoyable when they're during the day. I scrubbed my bleach-scared hair for what seemed like an eternity. There was such a significant difference, the way my hair looked was different when it was truly clean. It was really quite nice. I swept the short, pale bangs off to one side. I looked in the mirror, repeating my new name. The last thing I wanted was to introduce myself by the wrong name.

"Amani."

"Amani!"

"Amani, Amani…Amani."

"Amani?"

I brushed through my hair once more, before heading out. All of the lights were on in the halls, and the atmosphere felt brighter than before. As I made my way to the lobby, conversational mumbles grew louder. The clanking of dishes interrupted them from time-to-time.

_Lunch must have just been served._

Entering the Lobby, I was nearly trampled by a herd of children chasing each other, probably the same ones making a ruckus outside of my room earlier.

"Miss Amani! Good to see you this afternoon!" Sarin's voice woke my senses happily.

"Good afternoon. You seem busy." I commented.

Sarin grinned, "Yes, but it does me good. It's a casual environment. People mostly do as they please, and we will only houseclean and serve meals upon request."

My stomach growled, "…Can I request a meal?" I chuckled.

"Of course."

Following a hearty grilled fish platter with steamed vegetables, I was drawn to leave the Inn. I wanted to explore the city. It was so different there, after all. The Inn was located only one block from the main street through Konoha. To the west were other residential communities, and to the east was the market. It was Saturday, so everybody was shopping and gathering with friends, despite the dreary skies. I meandered around, finding myself with a constant smile on my face. I felt so free, and so at home, and so estranged at the same time. Perhaps I was in love with this place. I stopped at a shop that sold fine china. Many of the wares were painted with leaves. The people here were very proud of their heritage.

I was passing through the craftsman's square, when a woman at a booth called out to me:

"Dear child!" she waved me down, almost scolding me, "Your feet are ghastly! Haven't you any shoes?"

I hadn't realized, because I hadn't thought of it. After living barefoot for so long, I guess I forgot. Sarin hadn't given me any shoes…

"N-No… I don't have any."

"Oh, darling. Come see these." she was a plump woman, and she had to waddle past boxes of other wares to get to what she was looking for. "Oh. Where did I put them?" she mumbled, "AHA!"

Her excitement startled me, but I drew closer. She held out a pair of black slippers, embroidered with yellow blossoms.

"Oh, they're lovely… but I haven't any money."

"No worries."

A deep male voice came from beside me, from a shinobi with short brown hair, and a metal faceguard along his jaw.

"Oh, Captain Yamato, you saint." The woman smiled, taking the money from the shinobi, and placing the slippers in my hands.

_W-What?_

I guess I must have been staring at him, because he laughed. His eyes were wide yet relaxed, and the deepest brown. It became less like staring, and more like gawking.

"What kind of girl wanders the streets in the winter without shoes?" His wide eyes examined me.

"A fool, I suppose." I chuckled.

"I don't take you for a fool."

"Forgetful, then?" I corrected myself, trying to formulate words that made sense.

_He's so..._

"Maybe." His lips curved up on one side.

_Perfect._

The old woman had been watching us until that last moment, she bowed silently, smiling, and went to the back of her booth.

"What's your name? I don't recognize you, are you a student at the Academy?"

_Oh god- Questions. Keep it simple!_

"My name is Amani, and I'm staying at the Inn here in town."

"Oh, well, welcome to Konoha, Amani. My name is Yamato." his tone was friendly, but curious.

"Thank you, I like it here very much. I'd like to stay here permanently if things work out…"

"I hope you decide to stay as well."

"YAMATO-SENSEI!" Two teenagers ran, panting, toward the shinobi.

"Pardon me," he turned away, with a polite smile, "I hope to see you around, Amani." and he walked to meet the two young nins calling after him.

I stood there for a moment, with the lovely slippers in my hands. I decided not to put them on, considering my feet were so dirty. I didn't want to ruin them. My heartbeat was fast, and irregular; like the flapping wings of a small bird.

I sat at one of the tables in the dining room, sipping a cup of tea. It was late in the afternoon, and there weren't any guests around. I caught myself daydreaming.

"Amani, how was your day out today?" Sarin took a seat opposite of me.

"Oh, it was great. It's wonderful here. All of the people are so wonderful…"

Sarin wore a lighter colored uniform today, it was pale grey with navy trim. He rolled up the sleeves to the middle of his forearms. "I'm glad." He stopped, but I could tell there was something else on his mind. Whatever it was, he didn't say it.

"And how was your day?" I asked courteously.

"Normal, I suppose." He took a spare cup from the table, and poured himself some tea from the heated pot between us.

I felt my thoughts wander, and the Shinobi's face floated in and out of my mind. Among other things.

_I can start over. For real, this time._

* * *

**_For those who remember, things are getting more fast-paced now. The content in this chapter were previously in chapter 6 and 7._**  
**_I didn't hesitate to add detail where I thought it was needed, and yes there was a major character change, but I am mostly letting the story fall into place from here, all things considered._**

**_~Naomispice_**


	5. One Night

I examined myself in the vanity mirror. I was still thin, it was an uncomfortable sight. I wasn't as… full as I used to be. Sarin kept me well fed, but it was taking a while for my weight to get back to normal.

I put on the one set of clothes I had, and set out for the lobby. On my way down the stairs, I nearly bumped into Moeka, the maid who served us dinner the first night I was here.

"Oh, excuse me, Miss Amani." She bows gently, but then her eyes perked up, "Oh, I was just on my way to see you." She handed me a thick envelope.

"What's this?"

"It's from Master Sarin. He asked me to give it to you; he's out running errands this morning."

"Oh, thank you, Moeka-san."

She bowed once more, and continued on her way up the stairs.

Once I was alone on the stairwell platform, I checked the contents of the envelope, and nearly fainted. It was full of cash. Easily over 1,000 ryo, maybe more. A startled breath escaped my lips. There was a paper inside with some writing on it.

_**Amani-**_

_**This is for you, and no, it is not too much. Please go out for anything you may need for your room, or for yourself. **_

_**-Sarin**_

_Why so much? This is a lot of money, just for me..._

Then, I remembered the strange files I came across while helping Sarin organize; and all of those enormous sums of money. This was nothing in comparison. I trusted Sarin, no doubt, but it was still suspicious.

_I do need clothes, and a toothbrush, not to mention feminine supplies, and… well, I need a lot of stuff._

I carefully tucked the envelope in the waistband of my teal tunic, and bounced down the rest of the stairs, and practically glided through the front doors.

I hopped through every store, starting with the essentials, but I was drawn to little luxuries as I went along:

Shampoo and aromatic bath soap, hairbands, at least 6 complete outfits, detergent for the washing machine in my room, and a necklace with a gold tree pendant.

As I made my way down a craftsman's strip of shops, I noticed an artist painting outside near the edge of the sidewalk, beside a showroom which sold artwork.

I cleared my throat, "Pardon me?"

The man looked up at me, "Yes miss?"

"Is this your art being sold here?" I glanced at some of the ink-work in the windows.

"Some of it, yes. Is there anything you're looking for in particular?"

"I'm not sure. I just moved into a new home and I'm looking to furnish it."

"Ahh." He smiled, and set down his ink pallet and brush. "Come inside. Let's find something inspiring for you."

_Something inspiring…_

"So tell me," the man looked up and down the walls and scurried over to the other end of the room to a stack of covered canvases leaning against a wall. "Do you find comfort in nature?"

"Yes, very much so."

"And you are fond of the sea? Is it your home?"

I was shocked that he could pick up on something like that. I was born near the land of waves. "Yes… it is."

"I have something you might like, then." He flipped gently through the boards, all of which were large, except for the one he pulled out from the pile.

The canvas was about the size of a large placemat; there was a painting of a lake shrouded in golden mist, and near the edge, was the silhouette of a great crane, with its long, graceful legs striding through the water, leaving ripples in the wake.

"It's beautiful." I hadn't realized that the man had handed me the painting, and I was staring at it for a long time. "This piece, did you make it?"

"No, but it was painted by my late grandfather."

"How wonderful, to have such a gift in your family…" My words trailed off, losing myself again in the way the mist kissed the deep teal water, and how boldly the crane's dark form struck the golden sky.

"Thank you, miss." He bowed.

"I would like to have this."

"Of course, he smiled."

I paid him at the register, which wasn't modern at all, it was a wooden lock box, that he kept tucked away in a cabinet.

_How humble his life must be._ I thought.

"Perhaps, when I come back," I began, "You can show me more of your grandfather's artwork?"

"Oh, that's kind of you miss; I would, but the one you have is the last of his collections."

The weight of the room became sobering. But I remained cheerful. "Well, I'll take very good care of it. And when I come back, you can show me your artwork." I

smiled, thinking that Sarin could use some artwork to hang in the lobby at the Inn.

"Certainly."

I left the man's shop feeling inspired. It wasn't until I passed a flower shop that I realized I was missing something.

_Back home, I always had flowers around. And fresh herbs growing._

I set a couple of my bags down check the contents of the envelope; I still had plenty of money to spend.

_Maybe, I'll just get a few…_

The flower shop was full of plants. The air was clean and warm from the life given off by the ferns and live bouquets.

"Hi! Can I help you?" A tall girl with long blonde hair emerged from a tower of lilies. Her apron was slightly dirty, and she wiped her brow with the hem of her gardening glove.

"Oh, probably. Do you have any box planters that would do well indoors?"

"Sure!" She had me follow her to a shelf of clay vases and pots, large and small. The girl reached behind a few and pulled out a long, narrow, green-glazed pot. "This is the biggest. Are you looking for something smaller?"

"No, that's great!"

"Cool." She smiled, and put it on the counter. "Need something to put in it?" she laughed.

"Yes please!" My heart smiled. This was my passion. It felt good to be around somebody who enjoyed it as much as I did. "I would like some Patchouli, Ginko, and Primrose if you have them?"

She looked at me astonishingly, "Wow, you really know what you're looking for! Unfortunately, I don't have any live plants, but we do have seeds of all those. Is that okay?"

"That's better, actually. I'd prefer to grow them myself." I blushed.

_Based on her reaction, I guess even in the Hidden Leaf it's not common for people to know this much about plants._

The girl heads behind the counter and back beyond a doorway. Probably to access a proper storage unit for dry seeds. When she came back, there were three tiny paper bags between her fingers.

"Okay, so I'll label these for you and put them in a larger bag." She takes a stapler, and folds the tops of the little bags down before clamping them down with a staple. "Would you like some help taking the planter back to your home? Looks like you've got your arms full!"

I looked down at my arms, all lined with assorted bag handles, and the painting. I guess there wasn't going to be any way I could carry it back with all of the other stuff by myself. "Yeah, that'd be helpful, thank you!"

"I'm Ino, by the way." She said as she walked by my side back to the Inn.

"I'm Amani." I smiled, "Thanks again for helping me."

"No problem, you should stop by again sometime."

"I will!"

_Knowing me, I'll probably end up there twice a week._

We approached the Inn, and Ino seemed surprised, "Oh, you live at the Inn?"

I felt slightly embarrassed, "It's only temporary, I haven't been living here for very long you see-"

"That's so adventurous! I bet you meet all kinds of interesting people here!"

_Oh! She doesn't think it's weird. That's a relief._

Sometimes, when you meet people, stuff just clicks. And in a village as big as Konoha, it felt good to branch out, and stumble into a friendship. It was like that when I met Izumi, too. She was a young shinobi in Iwagakure, and I was just starting to manage the Herbalist shop after my parents' death. She came in, dreadfully cranky, and was muttering to herself about how stupid food pills were.

Humbly, I asked, "_Can I help you find something?"_

"_Probably not."_ She sighed, "_Because there's no such thing as a food pill that tastes good."_

I laughed at her, not because she was right, but because how much this one little fact of life truly made her depressed. It probably wasn't right, but it happened anyway. She stared at me, angrily at first, but then, as if the laughter itself was as contagious as a yawn, she began laughing with me.

We spent the rest of the day dreaming of ramen-flavored food pills.

Eventually, I did make a rather delicious tasting food pill- if I do say so myself. It was slightly larger than average, but the trade-off was the outer coating of hard candy. On the inside was the same-old nutrient supplement, but the sugary glaze seemed to make all the difference. It was one of our biggest secrets. I never sold them at the store, or ever released the recipe to anyone. I made them only for Izumi for when she went away on long missions. Because friends don't let friends eat gross food pills.

When we walked through the lobby, Sarin was at the front desk. We made eye contact- for an instant, but he smiled, and looked away, tending to some documents.

"Do you live on a high floor? I bet you have a great view!"

"Well, if you consider the 3rd floor high." I chuckled to myself, and Ino followed me closely as we made it up all of the stairs without dropping anything.

Once in my room, she gasped, "Wow! This is super nice!" She set the planter box down on the tiled space near the kitchen area, and began looking around.

"Thanks." I smiled, setting down the other dozen bags of stuff onto my bed.

"Well, shoot, I've gotta go back to the shop. I'm glad I could help you get that planter here, though! If you need anything else, don't be afraid to stop by! And even if you don't need anything else, you can still stop by." Ino smiled, and nervously brushed off her apron. Then, she leaned in- and gave me a light hug. "It was great meeting you, Amani."

I was a little surprised, and didn't know how to properly react. But I hugged her back, "It was great to meet you too, Ino. Do you need me to walk you back out? It's kind of a maze…"

"Nah, I got it. But thanks!" She smiled, and with a quick wave, her long ponytail, blonde as the sun, whipped behind her.

I sighed to myself, and shook my head.

_It can't be this easy. Just picking up a new name and a new place to live with somebody else's money. It just can't be this simple. I've got to wake up from this sick dream soon, before I start to think it's real._

I unpacked all of my new things, arranging them as I felt it should be. I picked out new bath towels, in a light seashell yellow. And for my bed, I spent the most money. I got a new duvet cover, sheets, and pillow covers. The sheets were all a similar bright yellow, and the light, plush duvet was dark teal, with white scallop patterns lining the hem. From another bag, I pulled out a lamp and shade - only to realize I had no light bulb to put in it.

_Well, shoot._

I shrugged, but still set the body of the lamp and its shade on the vanity where I intended to keep them. It was a unique fixture. The base was wood, with the bark left on. Through a small hole drilled through the core, the wiring and metal post for the bulb was fitted at the top. The shade that went with it was just plain white, but it was mostly the body of the lamp that I was drawn to.

_How silly of me._

I left the lamp alone, and happily began tearing purchase tags from the clothing I'd bought, and organized them into the vanity. I didn't go overboard, but I made sure to have clothes for a week, enough to get by, and enough to do laundry with. With the recent color and length change of my hair, it was strange to see how clothes looked different from before. I found myself picking more neutrals, blues and greens than the reds and yellows I used to wear.

Suddenly, I thought of Yamato, and that day at the market. Joy tickled my sides, and I shook my head.

_Don't be stupid. He's probably forgotten about you already, Heromi. He was just being nice._

There was a knock at my door - I answered it, to see Sarin standing in the hall. "Amani." He smiled, bowing courteously, "I see you had a successful day out." His eyes wrinkled shut with the creases of his smile.

"Yes, I did. Thank you."

"I was wondering if you'd like to accompany me for dinner downstairs? I have some news to share with you."

I blinked out of curiosity, "Sure, yes, I would love to join you."

We held off important conversation until after we had finished our meal. Sarin and I exchanged stories about our day, as we sat with a kettle of hot citrus tea.

"You said you had some news for me?" I asked, peering around the room. Most of the guests had finished their dinners as well, and only a few scattered tables hosted small conversations. The kitchen was closing up for the night, and as the lights in the dining hall were dimmed one waiter stopped at each table that was still occupied to light a candle.

"Yes." Sarin cleared his throat, "Deidara sent a message this afternoon, he and Tobi will be returning tonight."

Not to lie, I was queasy at the thought of Deidara's return, "Oh… I thought they were going to be gone for a whole week?"

"They are, but they're close by, and wanted a hot meal and a bed for the night."

"I see." I nod, reluctantly.

I suppose they have a right to it. Afterall, this is their home that they let me stay in.

"But that wasn't the real news." Sarin speaks up again, "I also received a summons from the Lady Hokage."

My eyes lifted with interest, "Really? So soon?"

"Yes, she wants to meet with you tomorrow afternoon. She didn't say anything about granting me an invitation, so you'll be going alone this time."

_That's right. The last time I saw her, Sarin was there to help me, and guide the situation to where it needed to be. It's all on my shoulders now._

"Okay…" I nodded.

"But, I have faith that you can handle it. Trust your instincts." Sarin took another sip of his tea, before standing up to leave, "I have to go prepare rooms for our friends. I'll come let you know when they arrive."

_Tch. Thanks. Like I'm really thrilled to see them._

I didn't say anything. Sarin left, and I sat there until the last bit of tea was gone. I spent the next few hours arranging my room, making the bed, and taking a short bath, to ensure that my hair was nice and clean for my meeting with the Hokage tomorrow. I took the time to shave my legs, a luxury I hadn't known in- well- too long.

_I'll probably have to keep up with it, too. If anybody notices the difference in hair color, it could raise suspicions. Pff. what the hell. Who gets suspicious about leg hair? Obviously a paranoid refugee like me._

It was a fresh feeling; dressing myself in all new clothes. Everything fit differently, but I didn't size down too much. I knew I'd get back to a healthy weight eventually. I slipped on a pair of light grey pajama pants, and a navy ¾ length sleeve tee with a square neckline. As I sat at the stool by the vanity, using a new brush on my hair, the door knocked - but this time, I knew exactly what it was for.

I checked the time before going to the door; 10:32 P.M.

"Miss Amani?"

"Yes?" I answered to the unfamiliar employee standing in the hall.

"Master Sarin requests your presence in the _storage_ room."

"Certainly; thank you for letting me know."

"Of course." He bowed, respectively, before proceeding down the hall.

_They must be here._

I paced myself inconspicuously as I headed for the basement. Avoiding attention and closing the door to the stairs behind me, I felt my heart rate pick up speed.

_Why- why did they have to come back so soon? God, I feel nauseous._

I stepped lightly down the stairs, and Sarin was standing at the base of the steps, along with the two Akatsuki.

"Hello, Amani-Chan!" Tobi squealed.

I smiled sheepishly, and waved, "Hey."

Deidara was wearing a conical sedge hat, but took it off to look at me. "_Hey_."

"_Hey_." I replied.

He looked different then, tired? No…stressed. Suddenly, my stomach calmed itself, and somehow, facing them wasn't as hard as I made it out to be in my mind.

_This was their routine, come home for rest and food, and then leave. This has nothing to do with me. They don't seem angry or annoyed, or anything._

"Your rooms are ready for you." said Sarin, casually.

"Thank you-thank you!" Tobi clapped. "Tobi is very tired. It's time for night-night."

"You don't want dinner first?" Sarin chuckled, taking Tobi's clouded uniform.

"No thank you. Travel makes Tobi sleepy."

"Alright then."

Tobi waved us all good night, and headed up the stairs by himself. Sarin bent down to lock the trap door in the floor, and cover it with an old straw mat.

Deidara, now wearing the plain dark robe in place of his Akatsuki one, looked up at me, through the wood beams lining the staircase. "You eaten yet? Un?"

I hesitated, unsure if he was speaking to me. "Yes, but it was a while ago."

"Hm. Come have tea with me then."

I think Sarin was even a little surprised by that request. I was nearly speechless. Deidara acted as if it wasn't abnormal at all.

"Sarin, make us some rice cakes with our tea." Deidara started up the stairs, soon, his eyes were level with mine. Even though his long blonde hair covered one eye, and the lighting on the steps wasn't stellar, I could sense him looking at me, up and down.

"Certainly." the old man shrugged compliantly.

The journey back to my room was, luckily, without guest encounters. An employee once passed us, but said nothing. We didn't speak, but my thoughts and I had a conversation along the way.

_What is he doing? Are we friends now? If we are - I didn't agree to anything._

"You seem to be settling in alright. Un." He commented as we started up the main staircase.

"Mostly." I swallowed shyly. We reached the third platform, and I turned to take the doorway to the hall to my room, but Deidara stopped.

"Let's go to my room. It's on the fourth floor. Un."

And then I saw it- from the corner of my eye, that evil smirk. It sliced through my mind and cut deep into my gut. But I followed him anyway. The fourth floor looked no different from the others. Deidara' room was closer to the end of the hall, far from the stairs.

_I wonder if Tobi's room is nearby…_

Deidara's room had a strange lock on it. He had to pull a key from his bag and fiddle with it to get it to open. I guess the extra security doesn't hurt in his case. It was cold in his room, though. Clearly Sarin keeps the heat off to save energy when he's away. Deidara flipped on the lights, to illuminate a room much smaller than mine. There was no kitchen or laundry area, and no closet. Just a bed, a standard dresser, and a tea table in the middle.

Making himself at home, he began to untie his forehead protector, folding the bands and laying it on the dresser. He then proceeded to take off the cloak he borrowed from Sarin, and his shirt.

I blushed, and dared not to look. Though, I was never good at taking dares. I looked. Deidara moved away from the dresser, and sat one one of the cushions at the table. My eyes wanted to dart away, but they didn't. There was a strange circular tattoo on this chest, and one of his arms was slightly discolored above the elbow. On either side of the discoloration, were stitches.

_This isn't normal. I- I should be more on-edge._

He must have noticed me staring, because he called me out for it, "A Leaf ninja did this to me, believe it or not. Un." Deidara examined the stitches, and winced; part of the wire began to bleed. "He got lucky."

"And you didn't?" my voice was small in the still silence of the air.

He scoffed, "It was a bad day, and the mission nearly failed. Un."

Then, a strange movement came from the palm of his hand. I blinked five or six times- then it happened again.

"What is that?"

Deidara scrunched his face at me, "Seriously?" He held out his palm, revealing a mouth. Teeth, tongue, and all. "You _just now _noticed these? Un?"

_W-what the hell?_

"I-I guess?"

I curled my naked toes anxiously on the matted floor; my next thoughts were interrupted when Sarin came knocking.

"Tea and rice cakes." He hummed. "No need to bring the dishes back tonight. I'll have somebody take care of them in the morning. I'm turning in for the night."

"Thank you." I chimed.

"Anytime." He smiled, and as he slipped out the door, his eyes floated from me, to Deidara, and back to me. We both hesitated for a moment.

_As if it couldn't get more awkward._

I sat down across from him and picked up a rice rice cake, handing one to Deidara, which he bit into immediately. I watched timidly, to see if he would… feed any of it to either of the mouths on his hands, but he didn't. Somehow I found it possible to eat without feeling too creeped-out. Upon my last bite, I held up a red ceramic vase with a cork in it from the tray. "What's this bottle here?"

"That's mine. Un." Deidara snatched it from me, unplugging the cork, and inhaled its scent.

_Well then._

The smell wafted to me, and I recognized it immediately. It was imported Iwa sake.

_**Well then!**_

I rolled my eyes, and poured us tea; it didn't take long before he poured some of the sake into his tea.

Again, he caught my stare, "What? Do you want some? Un?"

I answered impulsively, "Sure, but not as much as you."

He shrugged, and splashed some into my hot tea. I held the cup to my nose, investigating the new smell. The aroma had changed dramatically. I wasn't sure if it was in a good way, though. I was never much of a drinker, but I had customers who were, and they often requested dried grains and hops for their own home-brewed beers. I waited for Deidara to drink some of his, before trying my own. He sipped it like it was any ordinary beverage, so, assuming it was safe, I took a drink of mine.

The taste was a bit hotter, but it didn't burn. The soothing herbs in the tea calmed my throat.

"Wow," my thoughts escaped me, "That was… good."

"Isn't it?" He smirked.

I nodded, sipping it again. With every glassful of tea, more sake was added. I could feel my cheeks radiating some heat, and my eyesight grew hazy within the hour.

"You know," Deidara leaned over, and crawled around the table, and sat beside me, "I missed you."

"I missed you too." my tongue slid around in my mouth.

Deidara leaned over me, and then even further, causing me to fall back, lying on the floor. He hovered over me; his blonde hair fell next to my face, brushing my warm cheeks lightly.

"I want to have you. Un." he moaned into my ear, now resting his weight on me gently, grazing my neck with his nose, taking in my smell.

I let out a breath when he kissed my neck, and he stopped to look into my eyes. I was sure I didn't even know how intoxicated I was.

_Just kiss him._

And so I the kiss, more intense feeling ran through me. I wanted to have him too. Our hips were grinding together, while locked in breathless lip-teasing.

_Wait-_

I felt his body up the sides with my hands, slowly, all the way up his shoulders and into his long, blonde hair.

_Stop-_

_Shut up, I know what I'm doing._

But I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know what I _**did **_until the next morning, when I woke up, in the black sheets of Deidara's bed, naked, with a wicked headache. I was alone; except for a small, white clay bird, sitting on the windowsill.


	6. The Gypsy Girl

I cried. After I'd worked so hard not to, I cried because my head hurt, because I'd been played, and because he was gone again. At the same time, I never wanted him to come back.

The sinister red bottle was still on the table, along with the tea glasses and ceramic pot. The window shade was open, letting in insane amounts of light. I kept my eyelids low so my brain wouldn't explode.

_What time is it?_

I smudged away the streams of sorrow from my face, and reached for the small clock on his bedside table.

**7:03 A.M.**

The little white bird was staring at me with guilty hollow eyes. Whatever last night meant to him, it meant nothing to me. I cursed aloud, and stormed out of bed. I frantically began putting on my clothes, and left without a second thought. Without making eye contact with anybody I may have passed in the halls, I made it back to my room, and locked myself inside.

More tears began leaking from the creases of my eyes, as I went intothe bathroom. I stripped down, taking off everything. The clothes felt ruined, having been removed by _**his**_ means. I stared at my thin, weak frame in the mirror.I had red marks all along my torso; round, sore ones, some long and scratch-like, others resembled bite marks.

_I don't even want to am I supposed to feel? Did he really… have those kinds of desires for me, or was that the alcohol? Nevermind, I don't even want to know._

Shamefully, and with tender legs, I dressed myself with clean clothes, and threw the others across the room, wrathfully. The insides of my thighs hurt. It hurt a little to bend over and put on my shoes…The shoes that Yamato got for me. My fingers ran along the embroidered flowers, and felt the smooth grain of the silk. No words passed through my mind, only the warm, flustered feeling returned when he spoke to me.

_I'm such a wreck. I'm so stupid._

I tried to hold myself positively, but I felt so angry and abandoned. I made my way out to the lobby. There weren't many people in the halls or in the lobby. Sarin was relaxing, in his desk chair, reading a newspaper, when I found him.

"Good morn- are you alright?"

_I must look __**that**_ _bad._

"Not really."

"Well… perk up, Lady Tsunade sent us a summons in an hour or so, remember? Feel free to get something to eat for breakfast in the mean-time." Sarin went back to reading his paper.

_Have you __**no idea**__?_

"Sarin!"

He jumped, "What?"

"**Never. Ever. **Let that _blonde_**bastard** into the same room as me with that **damned** red bottle **ever** again."

Sarin's eyes went agape, he tried to say something, but nothing came out.

"I don't want anything to eat. I'm going to talk with the Hokage right now."

I stormed out. I didn't care if Sarin yelled after me or not. I was ready to get my life figured out. The sooner that happened, the sooner I get Deidara out of my life.

_He was the one that fucked it up to begin with! If he hadn't…If he hadn't saved me. If he hadn't come back for me. __If he hadn't brought me here, to this wonderful place. Fuck. __Whatever! If he hadn't dumped my sorry ass in the middle of the Iwa outskirt wilderness, I would be in custody, or better yet, __**dead.**_

I walked briskly through the town, draping my dark green shawl around my shoulders, and made my way to the capitol building. The doors were open at this time, but two shinobi stood watch. I ignored their presence and walked right in.

"Whoa, whoa there."

I turned around, rolling my eyes.

"You got an appointment?" one of the guards asked, with attitude.

"Yes I do, I'm just early." I didn't bother wait for him to reply. I spun around, and kept on walking.

When I reached the room that was the Hokage's office, my nerves had calmed down. I knocked sternly at the door frame, capturing her attention. She was staring out a wide window beyond her desk. There was another woman standing with her, with short, dark hair.

Tsunade turned in response to the knock, and her face lit up. "Amani, I'm glad you came early. There are some things I'd like to speak with you about before our next guest arrives." She walked back toward her desk; the woman with dark hair followed her.

"This is my advisor, Shizune."

"Hello." She bowed, smiling.

Suddenly, I forced myself to shove every negative thought away, even if it made me feel better to dwell on them. Anything about Deidara in my head could threaten what I said.

"Hello." I replied, mimicking her bow. As a bent over, my head throbbed. I was still hungover.

_I just hope I don't __**look**_ _hungover._

Lady Tsunade pulled up a chair from the edge of the room, and placed it before her desk, "Please, sit. We'll be a bit more formal than we were the first time we met."

I nodded, and crossed my fingers behind my back.

"I hope you got my package." She smiled.

_Package…? Oh!_

The night I met with her, I had showered, and had no clothes. I thought that Sarin had given them to me. "Those clothes were from you?"

She nodded, "Yes. I thought you would need something better than what you came in."

"T-Thank you."

"But I don't remember giving you _those_." She curiously gestured to my current outfit. "A gift from the Innkeeper?"

"Yes, Ma'am. He's been very generous to me."

Her eyebrows relaxed, for a second, at least. "On more official terms, I'd like to ask you…" Tsunade's voice turned serious, "Would you please show me your jutsu once more?"

It took me a moment to process her request, "Oh, certainly. Uhm…" I looked around the room, until I noticed a small bonsai on a bookshelf. It looked wilted.

_I can fix you right up._

I stood, made my way over to it, and placed my fingertips underneath its tiny branches, and focused my chakra. The small tree not only flushed a deep, healthy green, but it began to bloom; small white star-shaped flowers sprouted between the leaves.

I heard a small gasp, and when I turned, I saw that it was from Shizune. She tossed her head from side to side, "Impossible!"

"I told you." Tsunade murmured.

"Am I going to learn to use my power?" I re-seated myself before the lady Hokage.

"That's my offer to you. If I grant you training, then you'll become a shinobi of the hidden leaf, and work for me. You'll receive a salary for your work, like the rest of them, of course."

My heart felt warm and fluttery, like there was a hummingbird in my chest, "Yes! I accept."

"Excellent."

"You sent me a summons, Lady Tsunade?" a male voice called in from the hall.

"Yes, please come in." She motioned her hand, waving him in. "Amani, this is Yamato. He will be your sensei."

_Yamato?_

I stood again, and my heart gasped. That feeling returned. If my heart were a flower, it would have bloomed the moment he walked in the room. Suddenly, my headache dissipated; I tried to conceal my feelings has he stood beside me.

"Yes, we've already met. Hello again, Amani." Yamato smiled at me.

Tsunade looks at both of us suspiciously, "You two know each other?"

"Well, we only just met." I began, "We were spontaneously introduced yesterday." I nibbled at my bottom lip nervously.

"_Interesting._"

Yamato didn't seem at all distracted, "Pardon my question, but Tsunade-sama, I'm already being assigned to mentor team 7- how-?"

"Not to worry, Kakashi will take over from here. You're being reassigned because this girl is from the Orochimaru project."

Yamato showed no expression. He blinked a few times with his dark, almond-shaped eyes, and looked at me intensely. "Really…"

"Amani, please demonstrate." Lady Tsunade proudly requested.

I bushed, I was sure he could tell. My insides were writhing with life, my chakra was so excited, I could have burst from the inside out. I pushed a block of wood from each of my palms for him to see.

Then, his eyes widened. "How old are you?" he demanded.

"She doesn't know. But she appears to fit with the timeline. She has no other memories besides the ones of Konoha."

"Do her parents still live?" he asked, eagerly.

"None of the surviving ones recognized the sketch I had made of her. It's more likely she was one of the many who were taken from the orphanage."

_She ran a background check on me?_

"You tried to find my parents?" I attempted to look hopeful.

"Yes. But most of the parents, whose children were taken, were killed. Many of Orochimaru's victims were orphans to start with. Back then, we didn't keep record of those kinds of things. It was outside of our jurisdiction, unfortunately."

I sadly nodded. _This cover-story fits through every possible loophole. I hope it stays this way._

"Amani will join the shinobi ranks as soon as you catch her up to speed. I saw no better mentor for her than you, Yamato. You will train Amani in between your sessions with Naruto, of course."

"Of course, mi'lady. I'll see to it that I teach her all that I know."

My voice jumped from my tongue, "When will I start training?"

"Tomorrow, _early_, if you'd like; I can meet you." Yamato pulled back his blue sleeve to check a watch, "Well. I must go for now. I have formation practice with Team 7. I'll have to bring them the news of my transfer now."

"Thank you for stopping in. Tell Sakura that I'd like to see her tomorrow as well." Tsunade stands respectfully upon his departure, and bows.

"Of course." Yamato bows, glances at me curiously once more, and then exits.

"That will be all, Amani." Tsunade flips her fingers through a short stack of papers, and hands a portion of them to Shizune. "I look forward to hearing reports of your progress and skill. You're dismissed."

As I left the Hokage's office, and walked out of the capitol building into the sunshine, I felt an immense rush of joy through my veins. It was so amazing, I almost started to cry.

Never in my life had I imagined that I would become a shinobi, I had always been just the poor merchant girl next door (literally). I never would have guessed that my humble talent would become my greatest weapon, and my greatest alibi.

My stomach began to rumble as I walked back to the Inn. Then I remembered:

_Aw man… I left really mad this morning._

Slowly, I walked in the front door of the Inn, Sarin was at the front desk, still reading through the newspaper, and I tried to walk in super casually- so casual that he wouldn't have even noticed I was there. Or so I thought.

"Amani."

I froze, and my eyes pinched shut.

_Please don't be mad, please don't be mad!_

"Y-es?"

"How was your meeting?"

_eh?_

I opened my eyes, "Fine…?" I began, a little confused by his reply.

"Come here."

I was still standing close to the door, and he hadn't left his desk. He had a pair of reading glasses on, and as I hesitated, he removed them, and put down his paper. He sent me a look that I couldn't disobey.

I sort of sulked over to him, like a child guilty of coloring on the walls, "Hi, Sarin."

"Hello, Amani."

"I'm sorry I got mad this morning, I had a really bad headache, and –"

"I forgive you."

I looked up from my feet, to see Sarin was smiling; his eyes looked tired, as the wrinkles in his eyes were deeper than usual.

"You do?"

"Yes. And I'm sorry for …what happened between you and Deidara."

I stood silent.

_Hmm. He was sorry for me. Again._

Suddenly I was sad again, genuinely sad- for myself, for letting Deidara take advantage of me like he did. "Just…" My words were cancelled momentarily by my thoughts, "Don't tell me when he comes back again, because I don't want to see him."

Sarin tilts his head with disappointment, "You don't mean that, do you?"

"Yes. I do. I'm moving on with my life here. I only needed Deidara's help getting me out of trouble in Iwagakure. Now I don't need him anymore. He's just a reminder of another life."

Sarin looked at me with his brows furrowed, then his face relaxed. "I understand, and I'm proud of you. I think you're very brave."

_grrlurrlg~_

_Oops. That was… my stomach._

Sarin and I busted out into laughter, and then he came out from behind the counter, and put his hand on my shoulder. "Let's have some lunch. And you can tell me all about your meeting."

He had the chef make us a special lunch, spicy udon soup. By the time our lunch arrived to us, we were the only ones left eating in the dining room.

"What did the Hokage have to say? Did she ask many questions?" Sarin dipped the soup ladle around in the contents of the bowl.

"No, but I found out that she ran a background check on me."

Sarin remained still, "And?"

"The story you made fits through every gap. I'll have to keep that gap as wide as I can if I don't want them to find out the truth, though."

"I see." He put his ladle down, and rubbed his chin. "You seemed to be in a more pleasant mood when you came back, what else happened?"

"Well," I immediately thought of Yamato, and the way his presence made me feel. But I decided to keep the conversation technical, and let it go. "Tsunade said that I will be trained to use my jutsu under Yamato, and that I'll become a shinobi of the hidden leaf."

Sarin's eyes widened, causing his wrinkles to nearly vanish.

"I know, I'm surprised they accepted me so strongly, and so quickly."

He nodded, "Yes, It wouldn't be out of the ordinary to assume they're watching you very closely. Be cautious, but be natural."

We continued to eat our lunch, and Sarin was explaining to me as much about the shinobi history here as he knew. He told me about the great Hashirama, whose jutsu I mimic, and about his battle with Madara and the origin of the foundation of Konoha. It seems the Hidden Leaf, despite being a very peaceable place now, wasn't always that way. Iwa's history wasn't all that different, though. We never had very positive outlooks on Konoha, because we were always rivals. I was never a military guru either way, nor was I a firm nationalist.

"Amani, what of your family heritage? You must have left some relatives behind."

_I suppose it was going to have to come out sometime._

I wanted to hesitate, but made efforts to respond quickly. I didn't want Sarin to feel like he was being rude by asking, "My family and I were nomads; gypsies. My mother gave birth to me on a caravan traveling along the land of waves. It wasn't until I was a teenager that my family settled in Iwagakure, in order to give me a better future."

"I see. Did they know about your talent?"

"No, I didn't know about it myself until after both of my parents passed."

"I'm sorry, I assumed they lived…"

I shook my head solemnly, "They caught a dreadful fever only a few years after settling. I wasn't able to help them. I had no siblings or cousins who stayed in Iwagakure with us."

The spicy heat of the udon soup was beginning to make my nose runny, I sniffed, and I hoped Sarin didn't think I was sad for covering my sad life story, _the real life story_.

I continued, "I was so angry and depressed when they died, after their burial; I left the village out of grief. I began to beat senselessly on earth and on this one old oak tree, until I realized that all the beating never hurt the tree; it grew."

"How did you feel?"

"I was scared. All alone… and I had no idea what was happening to me. I thought something was wrong; that I was a freak."

_All gypsies are freaks anyway._

From the moment we settled in Iwagakure, everything went crashing downhill. We didn't have hardly any money, and taking out loans was difficult. My parents didn't know how to do anything in regular society. After being born and raised in caravans themselves, it was a culture shock for them, too. For a while, we lived in a temporary housing development for the poor. There were others like us. Not gypsies, but people who didn't fit in, or didn't know how.

It was crowded, and dirty. we had a one room "apartment" with a stove, a bed, and a table. The bathrooms were communal, and we shared with 50 other tenants on the same floor. It was miserable. My father found work in a quarry, and my mother sometimes took me to work with her as a housekeeper. My parents did all they could to make life comfortable. When the budget allowed it, they would buy me books. Because children in the housing development weren't allowed to go to school. My favorite books to read were books about plants. When they couldn't buy books for me, I would visit the same book vendors when I could, and read on the streets, returning them each day before the market closed.

After nearly a year of living that way, we were able to get a loan for a house. It was an abandoned building, that's why we were able to afford it. The main floor was the empty shell of a store, and the upstairs was living quarters. I had my own room for the first time. Sure- it was empty- but for the first month or so, I preferred to sleep on the floor there than in a bed with my parents in their room. Using the books I'd collected, my mother began to grow plants in the house, and stored the fruits and vegetables that grew in jars after they were harvested. It was just a hobby, and a means of sustainable living for us. Until, when I was fifteen, my world fell to pieces before my eyes.

Neither of my parents had proper vaccines for living in the city. They died from a common fever that most people never even get. I was young enough for my body to adapt and become immune, but it was too late for them.

Before my father passed, he left everything we owned under my name, so that the government wouldn't take it away. He lied about my age as well, said that I was 16- which, was legally old enough to work and live independently.

After I discovered what power I had, I knew that it was the only thing I had left to help me survive in the city alone. I started growing plants that could grow all the time, and I didn't have to wait for them to drop fruit to make a profit. The solution, was to grow herbs. They required a lot of care, sometimes the tending and clipping would occupy me for hours. I learned (from reading) how to press leaves, dehydrate roots, and crush other parts of the plants that offer medicinal, or edible properties.

_For 4 years I lived like that. It all seems like it went by so fast, especially now...since that life is no longer a part of me._

I didn't explain my entire story to Sarin. It wasn't a story I liked to tell. He could see that in my eyes, and the way my last words faded into the air. He didn't pry, or ask any more sensitive questions. He just let me sit there, alone with my memories. I happily slept in my _own_ bed that night.


	7. Whatever It Takes

I waited all day- it seemed. I started to panic as the hours of the day ticked past noon. Out of nervousness, anticipation, and boredom, I completed the setup of my room by planting the seeds I got from Ino the day before.

I nestled the clusters of seeds a couple inches from the surface of the fresh pre-bagged soil. I made sure to separate each group by a half a decimeter, to make sure they had comfortable space to live. Once they were covered, I poured some water over where they rested with a small bathroom cup and tap water.

I placed the long, ceramic pot at the center of the tea table in my room, since I rarely ate in my room.

And then I waited some more.

_"We can begin training tomorrow, early, if you like; I can meet you." he said. It's a quarter past one. If this is your idea of early…_

I shook my head.

_Maybe he got busy, had other stuff to do, more training with somebody else. Maybe he forgot._

My eyelids fell; they were sad too. But my heart trembled with the last exhale; it remembered that feeling. The glow between us.

_It couldn't have been just me. He had to feel it too._

Whatever it was that possessed me- possessed me to aimlessly change my outfit. I put on a pair of white capri-length sweatpants, and a dusty green long sleeve shirt with a short turtle neck.

I sighed, after tugging at my hair, and moped down the hall, and to the main floor. Sarin was, per usual, at the front desk. He had a glass of water close at hand as he signed documents.

I sulked over to him, "I was supposed to-" I was distracted, when a person walked into the front doors of the Inn. It was Yamato.

"Hi, Amani." He said, with a smile.

"Hi." I peeped.

"I apologize for being so late. I know I said we could do some training today, but I have something else in mind." He looked away, and brushed the back of his head, "What do you say?"

My immediate response was to look at Sarin, but the old man just shrugged, and went back to doing whatever it was he was doing.

That feeling radiated inside me again, It pulled me closer, "Sure." and I followed him out.

I paced myself beside him, as he led me into the heart of the village. "I'm sorry again for not being able to meet with you earlier, I got caught up working with another student. He was… very determined today."

I could hear the smile in his voice, "That's alright." I said, "I understand." folding my hands behind my back.

"I also wanted to apologize if I seemed cold yesterday." he held his breath, as if there was something else he wanted to say, or give a reason why. I didn't ask, and he didn't say. we just kept walking.

_I don't think you seemed cold. I think you were being very respectful, and formal. I don't blame you for asking all those questions. I'm not who I say I am, afterall. You shouldn't believe me._

As we continued past the capitol building, I realize that I'd never been to this part of town before. "Can I ask… where we are going?"

Yamato shrugged with a smile, "Nowhere, really."

I felt anxious, in a scary kind of way. Now that I was with him, that feeling wouldn't go away. It made me want to melt. But I kept it to myself, and went along in silence.

The buildings became fewer in number, and rather, trees took their place. The air was cool, unsettled by only a slight breeze. The trees were beginning to shed their leaves, and the maples were beginning to change color. The road became a path of decorative paving stones, with flowers and ornamental shrubs filling the gaps between the trees.

"What is this place?" I asked, mesmerized.

He chuckled, "It's just a park."

I felt like a child again, inspired, as I so often was when our caravan stopped in a new place. A leaf from one of the bright red maple trees fell, and I caught it in my hands, then, as I felt the veins on its opaque underside, the leaf flushed bright green.

_oops…_

Yamato was speechless. He picked up a fallen leaf from the ground, and rubbed it between his fingers. But nothing happened.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I can't do that." He huffed, "That's amazing." He held onto the leaf for a moment, never taking his eyes off of it. "I thought I was the only one. But I guess, now that I'm not, it would be stupid of me to think we were going to be the same. I was the first after all. The beta test. Orochimaru continued his experiments after I was discarded. I guess it wouldn't be impossible if he perfected it."

"Perfected?"

"I can't do everything that Hashirama can. I only have a fraction of his power." With that, Yamato let the leaf go, twisting and spinning as it fell.

"But-" I felt my heartbeat stutter, "I don't know how to use my power. I admire you for that."

I could swear there was a dash of pink between his metal faceguard plates. Together we sat on a stone bench, listening to the leaves dance with each other in the trees as the sun moved slowly across the sky.

_Iwagakure was never like this. It never had any place like this. Or I would have found it, wouldn't I? It's so beautiful. I feel like I'm a part of this place. Heh- Izumi would call me crazy if she ever heard me say that. Everything to her is about the Will of Stone._

"Where have you been, all these years?" Yamato asked, in disbelief. "I came here when I was a child, but that was… 20 years ago." He turned to me, sadness in his eyes, "Where were you? How did you escape?"

I could tell that lying was going to tear me apart.

_This is all just a story for me, but for Yamato… this is real. He thinks Amani is real. But I'm just Heromi. The stupid gypsy girl who got messed up with the wrong people._

"I-Uhm." I started to panic. Never had I anticipated for questions this specific.

Yamato must have read me the wrong way, because suddenly, he sat back down beside me on the bench, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked so suddenly. If you don't want to talk about it, I understand." His lips grew tense, like he was forcing them shut to keep himself from asking more questions. "I didn't remember much either…"

_How will things ever change, if we… if I never talk about it? Making it all up would be worse. Yamato deserves to know the truth. I wish I could tell him. I wish I could. But it's not that simple. If I let anything leak, to anybody, Lady Tsunade would know about it before I could even attempt to cover it up._

Somehow, the day's emotions lingered more than I anticipated. I felt so hindered; like I was a bird trapped in a cage that was too small. And with all the lies I held, I felt like a songbird in a cage that suppressed sound.

It was a sick feeling. It was 2 in the morning before I got any sleep at all, and I had to be awake by 5 to meet Yamato; for real training this time.

_Why? This feels so stupid. What happens when he finds out I'm nowhere near as strong as I have to be? What happens if..._

_There were stars above me, swirling around in the dark, soupy sky. They twinkled, spun, and sparkled before my eyes. I went to move my arm to touch them, but I couldn't. When I looked at my arm, it was covered in grass and plants. All of my body was covered in grass, wildflowers and baby trees with their slender twig-like bodies. I pulled, pulled, and pulled myself up. When I finally broke free, I realized that on the underside of my body, were thousands of roots. The plants had grown through my body and into the dirt where I was laying. I began to scream; the lush grass and flowers on my front had turned to weeds, horribly tangling around themselves, and their thorns were invading into my face, eyes and hair. I started to pull them out, trying to breathe through their infestations. When I pulled them out, my skin was left with gaping holes where their roots had been. The openings began to swell around the edges, and blood ran out, pouring over the remaining plants. Then, as the blood touched the other weeds, they turned black, shriveled, and died._

When I woke up, I couldn't breathe, for a moment, I thought I was trapped in my nightmare, still suffocating among the weeds. But then I pushed myself up, realizing that I was merely sleeping face-first in my pillow.

_What day is it?_

I checked the small alarm clock at the edge of my vanity.

Tuesday – 4:03 A.M.

_I need air._

I was wearing nothing but my sports bra and spandex shorts, but I didn't care. I unlatched the window above my bed, and pulled the sliding panels apart, letting in a light breeze. But the feeling of the air wasn't enough.

_I need real air._

Bracing my arms on the insides of the curved window frame, I pulled myself up to it, crouching. I looked down. There was a small ledge 3 feet down, but I wouldn't make it if I tried to land on it. Beyond the Inn, there were buildings.

So I leaped.

I exported energy into my knees, and pushed off with full force. My heart was pounding, but I actually landed on another rooftop. To check reality, I looked back, and saw the Inn, and my open window. But I turned away again, leaping from rooftop to rooftop, until I leapt off into the local forest inside the gates of Konoha.

And so I leaped then, from tree to tree, in the early morning darkness, until there came a clearing. I let myself fall to the earth. There was a man sitting idle in the middle of the clearing.

_Is he meditating?_

I cautiously came closer to him, I recognized the uniform, realizing that he was a shinobi from Konoha. "Yamato?"

He turned suddenly, his handsome face filling my eyes in the darkness,"You are here rather early, Amani." he stated.

"I couldn't sleep." I was still standing behind him, and he was still sitting there, calm as could be.

"Why so restless?"

"A dream."

"Sounds more like the work of a nightmare to me." Then, he invited me with a smile, "Would you like to talk about it?"

I nodded, and walked around to sit in front of him, and we faced each other in the mild morning darkness. I took a deep breath, and described my dream to him as it had happened in my mind. When I was through, he didn't move, he just sat there; staring at me.

"What does it mean?" I asked desperately.

"I think it means that you are afraid of yourself."

I thought about my power. For shinobi, this sort of power is normal. But for somebody who was never raised around it, never learned what it was or how it worked… and suddenly, to learn that you have this power; it was a scary thought. "Don't I have the right to be? I mean, weren't you afraid when you found out?"

"Yes." Yamato nodded, eyes closed, as if he was remembering that fear. He looked at me once more, in a more curious way, "I also wonder, if this was your mind inventing a new jutsu."

"What? Does that actually happen?"

"Sure. I have heard of many chakra shamans who wander the earth, gathering information about the natures of chakra flow, and then they see entirely new jutsus in their dreams."

"But, I don't know anything about chakra flow- not really…"

"I guess you don't have to, then."

"Can you teach me how to learn this… dream jutsu?"

"No, I can't. I didn't have the dream. That's something that you'll have to work with on your own." He could see the frustration on my face, "Sorry, I don't make the rules." He smiled lightly.

I sighed, "What can you teach me?"

"I can teach you how to use your other forms of chakra. I think that it's important to learn your original two before you can control your kekki genkai."

"I have three chakras?"

"Three types yes. Wood is possible if the user also possesses Earth and Water."

"When do we start?"

"Now, if you'd like." Yamato stood, and held out his hand to me. I took it, and he lifted me up.

"We'll start with Earth Release."

As the sun began to rise, the clearing in the small forest had become a miniature isolated mountain range, from my earth jutsu practice. I first learned how to make correct hand seals to cause the earth rise, and then fall. I learned how to shape the earth into geometric shapes, or free-formed natural shapes.

"Depending on the combat or intel. situation you are in, geometric may be better."

"When would it be better?" I asked, taking a breath, and wiping sweat from my brow, "Wouldn't it be more disguisable if it were always free-form?"

"Yes, but disguise isn't always the objective. A more organized structure is often sturdier and better for barriers or traps." Yamato made a few hand-signs, and pushed up two pillars of earth in front of me. One resembled an ordinary vertical rock, the other was perfectly cylindrical. "Try to punch through those."

I focused chakra into my right elbow and fist, driving it into the natural rock, pulverizing it.

"That was pretty easy, huh?" Yamato smiled. "Now do the same thing with the other one."

I punched the pillar, and managed to fracture it, chipping off a large chunk, but I couldn't break through it.

"That was a lot harder." I huffed, rubbing my sore knuckles.

"You might want to work on your punches too… It's not good to side-arm."

_oh. hah… I guess I never got into many fights, or never learned how to._

"Is it that bad?"

"Well… it's better to punch straight, to put it simply." He smiled childishly.

I said nothing, but caught myself staring at him again. He seemed so calm and wise and strong. I was already hot and tired from the first day. I wondered if I would ever be as good at anything as Yamato.

Suddenly, I caught him staring back at me. He parted his lips, as if he wanted to say something, but looked away. Then, he tried again, "Amani, I've been meaning to ask-"

"Yamato-Sensei! I'm ready to train! Believe it!" A voice called from behind.

I felt the casual atmosphere vanish, and my gut solidified in defense. Yamato turned, and greeted the shinobi. "Good morning, Naruto." He paused, "Oh-Uh- Naruto, this is Amani."

"Oh, hey." The peppy blonde teen waved awkwardly.

"Well," I began, feeling like a stranger, "I'll let you guys train. Thank you for your help, Yamato." I bowed my head.

"See you tomorrow."

With nothing left to say, I sent him a smile and a nod. I walked off between the trees and watched the sun drag itself higher into the sky. I walked a slow, steady pace until my body relaxed and my breathing became calm and normal. With every inch the sun rose, more of the city began to wake. Small flashes of my dream lit up my mind, distracting me from the sun.

_What a torturous thing._

I returned to the Inn, filling the rest of my day with a hot, relaxing bath- lunch with Sarin, and an adventure to find the library. I picked out books about chakra, ninja weapons, and basic hand-hand combat.

_How stupid. There's nothing a book can teach me faster about fighting than actual practice._

I put the last book back on its shelf, and rolled my eyes inwardly. After signing a temporary check-out sheet, I left the library.

That night, I read silently from my bed with a plate of carrot sticks to nibble on. The first book was rather dull, and not many of the words were well defined or obvious. It was clearly a text meant for older students with more knowledge than I had. After lazily tossing it aside, I pick up the hard-sided novel of pictures and diagrams for the use of weapons. In the midst of my reading, I found myself getting lost in the words. Not because they were difficult, but because they were simple, and allowed my mind to wander while skimming through them.

I thought repeatedly about my day of training with Yamato. How I should have learned quicker, or maybe done things differently. I placed a carrot stick between my teeth, about to take a bite, when, Yamato's sad face pulled my entire conscious away from reality.

_"Where have you been, all these years?" he asked me._

_And to him in my imagination, I replied, "Waiting for somebody like you, to walk into my life."_

**Snap! Crunchcrunch.**

And the carrot was no more. Just like my pathetic, hyper-romanticized fantasy. I finished the text easily, but knew it would take another read-through to memorize it all. All but two small carrots were left, and I popped them into my mouth as I tucked the books away, and reset my pillows.

Long after the lights were out, my eyes were still awake. I turned to the side, hugging an extra pillow to my chest.

The next morning, I woke at the same time. Thankfully not the work of any spooky chakra visions, but because I wanted to. I met Yamato in the same field, in the same, dim daylight setting. That night it had rained, and the clouds hovered in patches above the ground and smothered the sounds of the world.

He was waiting there, just like the day before, meditating in silence. I decided not to say anything, but I moved to sit beside him. His eyes were closed, and his body perfectly still.

Suddenly, he took a deep breath in, "Good thing there's fog today."

"Why's that?" I asked, a little startled by the sudden conversation.

"We're going to be working with Water Release." He opened one eye, and peered my way, "And it's much easier to use water that's already here, than to make it yourself. Remember that."

"Okay." I smiled.

Like the day before, as I practiced the Earth Release, Yamato had me practice my hand seals. Some were harder than others, and moving from one seal to another was the hardest part.

"Rat to Snake."

"Dragon to Ox."

"Ram to Bird."

"Snake to Bird."

But the first day was easy. Today was harder. Yamato taught me as many different techniques as possible. Everything was so hard to practice, and harder to remember. He gave me a mix of instructions, going from water to earth, earth to water- but never at the same time. As the fog slipped away, and the moisture was all used up, I had to practice creating water myself. Yamato said this would happen more often than not in real situations.

After completing the practiced hand seals, Yamato guided me, for the 5th time through the basic skill of producing water from my mouth.

But as the water was pulled from the chakra around my stomach, and collected there, I felt sick. My knees began to shake, and I fell to the ground, clutching my stomach. Violently, I heaved; my eyes began to tear up, and I shook my head.

"You have to push it up- take a deep breathe." He stood a short distance from me, ready to step in if he had to. "Amani- you need to push it up."

I shook my head again, swallowing the nothing in my mouth.

"Amani-!"

I took as deep of a breathe as I could, and used my abdomen to flex my gut. But the sick feeling only intensified. Yamato gave me a strong slap on the back; and the water came up alright- but so did the rest of the sour acid from inside my stomach.

I coughed the rest of it up slowly.

_This is what it must feel to drown. I could have killed myself._

Yamato sighed, "I'm sorry. I pushed you too soon. Most shinobi don't learn these techniques until they're genin."

_Why he is he making me do it then? Because Tsunade asked him to get me up to speed? Why so fast? This is too much._

"You should go home and rest. You can take a break from training tomorrow, too, if you don't feel up to it." I could feel the disappointment in his tone, but perhaps it wasn't directed at me. "I'm sorry." He reached for my hand, and I took it, trembling slightly.

_I'm so weak. This isn't fair. This isn't right._

"What if… I can never do it." I mumbled, my vocal chords ablaze from exposure to acid. "I'll never be able to do everything that you can. I'm just too weak!" I had already been leaking tears, but in my miserable, mentally and physically broken state, they turned to sobs.

Yamato knelt to my side, and timidly ran his knuckles up and down my back. "Then we'll make you strong. Whatever it takes. Whatever you need."

* * *

**_Well, that was fun! I'm glad I took an extra couple days to make this chapter as long as I had planned. Amani/Heromi has a lot to learn- and she has to learn the hard way that you can't become a ninja overnight. Until next time- Thanks for reading!_**

**_~NaomiSpice_**


	8. Heaven - Or Not

The rain came the next day, and the next day, and the day after that. Sarin said it was unusual for a storm like that to come so late in the year. It was already December. If it got any colder, it could turn to snow.

After our last training session's struggle, I took a few days off from training with Yamato. But when I returned, the atmosphere of failure had dissipated. It was pouring rain that day, too.

"Ready to work on something new today?"

"Sure." I smiled, assuring myself, despite the weather.

"Taijutsu is really fun, if you know what you're doing." Yamato held a firm stance, defensively. "Show me what you can do."

As the thin smile curved over his lips, and rain dripped from the tips of his hair, I felt my guard rise, then fall. And my insides squirmed with delight.

After that day, I really felt like I'd achieved some progress. But it still felt so rushed. I found myself having to eat so much more food than I was used to; and I was finally reaching a healthy weight again.

As I enjoyed a cup of hot tea one saturday morning, listening to the thunder and gushing water outside, Sarin anxiously moves to sit across from me. He looked over his shoulder a couple of times, though nobody was around, and spoke softly, "You got a summons to see the Hokage today."

I felt confused, not by what he had to say, but the way he said it. "So?"

Sarin looked over his shoulder again, then back at me, pulling the paper from inside his tunic. "It's urgent, and it's got me feeling uneasy." He paused, handing me the paper, but before I could read over it he asked, "How much do you talk to that Yamato?"

"Not… excessively." I retrace the latest conversations in my head. They were all formal; nothing intrusive about the 'past' by any means.

Except that one time, in the park…

"Do you think he knows something?" I asked.

"Maybe- or maybe some of the Hokage's spies have seen something."

"Should I not go?" I fidgeted in my seat.

"You must go. Not going would make it worse. Just… play along." His eyes were serious; the darkness in his tone brought me to a sobering reality.

My comfortable life here- however short- could be over.

I decided to leave immediately. I left the remaining cup of tea on the table, and Sarin with it. Before leaving, I borrowed a pair of Sarin's old muddy boots, and a rain jacket.

The streets were vacant, filled only with the cold downpour that trickled beside the paved sidewalks. Toward the city center, there were a few people about- but not for long. They held tight grips on their umbrellas and shuffled hastily to wherever they were going. Others scampered inside, sheltering themselves into their homes. I looked up to the sky, then let my eyes trail down a building not far ahead. From the second floor, two young boys sat with their faces pushed against a window, with droopy eyes they watched the world awash in rain and thunder.

I reached the capitol building, to find that there were no guards on duty outside. Timidly, I entered. When the entrance hall was empty, I let out my held breath, and pushed back the hood of Sarin's old rain jacket. I ran my fingers through my frazzled hair, and tried to fix the damp strands over my eyes. I heard voices down the way. A moment later, two shinobi walked in from the direction of the Hokage's office.

They noticed me immediately, and halted their conversation. "Are you Amani?" One of them asked.

"Y-yes."

"Lady Tsunade is waiting for you."

Eagerly, I walked past them, through the archway and up the spiraling set of stairs to the upper floor. As I followed the curved hall, more voices echoed against the stone walls. They were coming from the Hokage's office.

"I don't care!" an unfamiliar female voice rattled.

"Why not? Don't you see the potential? Containing the Tailed Beast is becoming more important as Naruto grows stronger! Yamato can't take on this task alone." This time, it was the Hokage who spoke so strongly.

Are they talking about me? My potential?

"She's too old. That's final." a third voice spoke calmly.

I've got to go in there.

I knocked on the frame of the doorway, and shut my eyes- listening for her response. To my surprise, the Hokage came to the door herself.

She looked down at me, stress was strewn across her face, but covered it with a stern glance, "Amani, please come in."

I followed her lead. In the room was, per usual, Shizune. But there was an elderly couple seated in the chairs before Lady Tsunade's desk. There were no chairs left for me, so I stood awkwardly behind everybody else.

The older couple looked back at me, with their brows crossed.

They don't like me. It doesn't take a genius to pick that up.

Tsunade leaned against the front of her desk, facing us all. She held her head low, but remained stern. "Amani, I'm going to have to terminate your training sessions with Yamato."

I wasn't sure what I expected. But it wasn't that. I let out a small peep- but nobody seemed to hear it.

"The laws in place say that it isn't possible for you to join the shinobi ranks unless you've successfully advanced through the academy, and passed all the exams. Personal training alone cannot grant you title. I'm sorry."

Her words were monotone; like a poorly rehearsed speech, the words were not her own. The air was still, and nobody spoke. Even the pouring rain beyond the glass was silenced by the windows and walls around us.

My hands began to tremble, "Then- then let me through the academy! Please!"

This wasn't about my past at all. This is about my failure to train as a ninja. I wasn't good enough.

"I'll work harder, I promise. I can do it, really…"

The silence swallowed my words, sucking them away from my tongue. I had no power there. The law was the law. They knew it better than I did.

"Yamato. Thank you for coming in." Tsunade doesn't bat an eye upon his arrival.

I whip around, now face to face with my captain. He seemed distressed as well.

"What have I missed?" He glances at the elder pair seated before the Hokage, a twinge of angst behind his eyes.

The woman straightened her posture, her grey hair wrapped in a bun about as tight as her own butthole. She turns away, giving Yamato no proper attention or address, "The girl cannot train any longer. It's against the law."

"Dammit, we need her!" Tsunade presses, giving in to her true feelings.

"Princess Tsunade! Must you be so defiant!" The elder man hits his fist on the arm of the chair. "The Nine Tails will get stronger. Yamato will do what he can. If it comes to it- and his efforts are no longer helpful; restrain the Nine Tails."

"And leave Naruto to be what? A Civilian? You know he won't do that. He would never." Yamato scoffs.

Everything going on in that room was so above my head, yet, it was all about me. Those people were trying to push me away. I interfered with the system.

"What the boy wants, I could care less. What needs to happen is the truth." The old man growled.

"I'm sorry, what exactly is the issue here? I thought we were talking about Amani." Yamato stepped closer to me; I could smell the rain on his skin.

"There's nothing to discuss. The girl cannot be trained." The old woman's sour temper poisoned the room.

Or maybe it was just me. Her words struck deep. All that I'd hoped for- was suddenly swept up from under me and taken away.

"And why not? Because she didn't enter the system the orthodox way?" Yamato huffed. "If you remember, I didn't enter the system in orthodox fashion either."

"That was a different time, a different matter. Danzo handled-"

"Danzo was not, and is not the Hokage! What gave him the authority to place me into the system under your noses back then?"

There was silence. It was then, that the elders- whoever they were and whatever their title- realized they had been wrong. But they clenched their teeth out of spite.

Lady Tsunade had been watching, and listening. She pushed herself away from the edge of her desk, and stood over the elders in their seats.

"I will call the shots from now on. The girl remains an informal pupil to Yamato as a necessary asset to the protection of the Nine Tails." Her daring eyes shifted between them, "Any objection to my decision will be considered a threat to our security. Is that clear?"

Without a word, the couple stood, and left- taking with them the hostile atmosphere. And suddenly, as if nothing had happened, Lady Tsunade looks at Yamato.

"How is Amani's training coming along, by the way?"

Yamato relaxed his shoulders but parted his feet respectfully, addressing her, "Very well, thus far."

"Good. Now I have a request." She darted her eyes to me.

I was startled, until now, I had been practically ignored. "Yes, Lady Tsunade?"

But it was Shizune who replied, stepping forward with a smile, "Would you like to work with me in the medical field? The Innkeeper… mentioned to us that you are knowledgeable in botany. Your skills would be of great help in this line of work."

I was stunned. My heartbeat fluttered inside my chest. I felt my jaw go slack; I wanted to say yes, but I turned to Yamato to be sure.

His eyebrows relaxed, and he smiled at me just the same. I felt myself smile in return, "I accept!"

The Hokage dropped her head in approval, and waved her hand in the air, "You're both dismissed."

Yamato and I bowed, and walked out. As we gained distance from Tsunade's office, the space between us grew breathable again. As we stepped out the doors of the Capitol, the rain had stopped, and the midday sun shone from behind the clouds above. The rooftops and awnings dripped like faucets, and the streets were glossy; their surfaces no longer disturbed by constant rain.

"Amani…" He began, chuckling lightly, "It would appear we have a lot to discuss very soon."

"I'll say." I swallowed hard, realizing that the context of my training wasn't what I had previously thought. Things were going to be different now, different than they were before. Everything was changing so quickly.

"I'm on leave for the next few days," Yamato smiled, "are you busy tonight?"

"Not at all." I grinned, shaking my head. Frizzy lavender strands brushed my blushing cheeks.

"Join me for dinner?" I could tell he was holding his breath.

But so was I, "I'd love to."

The rain may have passed, but a new wave of clouds loomed over the Hokage Mountain as the sun began to set.

"It's going to snow." Sarin sighed, staring out the windows of the lobby.

I ignored him. It didn't matter to me if it rained, snowed, or if a hurricane passed through. Nothing could keep me indoors now. I had been aimlessly leaning against the counter, keeping Sarin company, I suppose. Waiting for the hours to pass.

I decided that I was bored of waiting like that. As I stepped away, Sarin called me back, "What would you like for dinner tonight?"

"Oh…" I had forgotten to mention to him earlier, "I was actually invited out for dinner tonight."

His eyes perked up, "Oh. That sounds… nice. Well, enjoy your time out."

There was something different in his tone. Almost as if it was painful to let me go. For a moment, I was afraid I had offended him, by not joining him for dinner. But it was only Sarin. There were plenty of nights that we didn't have dinner together. It was a strange exchange, yet, I was almost glad he didn't ask for details. It would have made for a stranger conversation, anyway. I turned back down the hall, and up to my room.

I peeled off my casual day-clothes, and picked out something nicer to wear. I don't remember how many outfits it took to find the 'right' one, but it finally worked out. I chose a pair of black winter pants, and a long-sleeve white tunic with a black undershirt. I was tucking the bottoms of my pants into my boots when there was a knock at my door.

"Miss Amani- Your guest is in the lobby." Moeka-san bowed, and parted quickly.

"Thank you." I muttered, but she had already scurried off.

Something's up. The halls have been unusually empty since I got back from my meeting with the Hokage this morning. Maybe it's only my imagination.

After pulling Sarin's old, dark-wool haori over my shoulders, I met Yamato in the lobby. He was wearing his usual shinobi uniform; I'd never seen him wear anything else besides that, it was a comforting sight, in a way.

"Will you be warm enough without a coat?" I asked, "It's snowing out there now."

Yamato smiled, and put his fist to the center of his chest, "Nah, the Will of Fire keeps me warm."

Amidst the lightly-falling snow, we walked through the market district, and to a street lined with restaurants. The warm lights and laughter all around us practically melted any snowflakes that dared to fall near. Of the many open-door restaurants and bars that lined the streets, Yamato didn't lead us into any of them. Rather, he guided me toward a closed door, down a few steps in the basement of a cafe.

It was a pub of sorts, very casual and low-lit. He immediately offered to take my coat, and so I let him hang it over a hook by the door. To the left was the bar, with glossy wooden shelves lined with ornate bottles behind it; and to the right was a space that resembled a living room, with sofas, small tables, and a hearth. Yamato had me follow him around the corner, past the living space to where there were regular booths and tables set. Most were empty, only a few old folk and two young shinobi were scattered about the pub.

We took a table for two that rested against a wall. The walls were all wood, vertical paneling of dark wood stretched from floor to ceiling. The ceiling itself was covered by old wooden tiles, some still had faint traces of paint around the edges from some kind of decorative border.

This place is great, but suddenly, I'm not hungry at all. Am I- nervous? This is a date. No, it's not a date. We're just talking…

"Are you hungry?" Yamato asked, folding open a paper menu from the edge of the table.

Don't be rude, Amani.

"A little, yeah. I guess I could eat."

"Everything is good here." He smiled, but it soon vanished, "Oddly enough I'm not all that hungry myself."

Okay, so it's not just me.

"Can we just order drinks, then?" I asked with a shrug.

So over a couple of hot, hard ciders we talked, with only the dense walls and crackle of the hearth in the distance to fill the silent times. I thought to myself, all the while, that this must be what heaven is like. Warmth, silence, good company, and stories to tell.

But the soft, light-hearted topics changed, when that morning's events rolled through both of our minds.

"Yamato," I began, looking away, "Why does the Hokage really want me to train with you?"

But he knew it was coming. I'm sure he knew the answer all along, and how to answer if I ever questioned it some day. He was mid-sip in his drink when I asked. I watched as he finished the glass, and let those big, dark, eyes fall to meet mine.

"There are only two ways to control a tailed beast. The Sharingan, and the Wood Style. There was a clan, many years ago, that lived in Konoha that possessed the Sharingan, but they were massacred. Only two survived- and they're… well, they're not a part of this village anymore."

I understood then, that we were the only hope this village had if something were to go wrong with the nine-tailed beast; with Yamato's student, Naruto. It was a heavier burden than I ever could have imagined.

"But," Yamato continued, "There's nothing to worry about. Naruto is just fine." he raised both eyebrows, reminiscing, "He's strong, that's for sure, but it's nothing to worry about."

I suddenly noticed that I'd been nervously stroking a lock of my lavender hair. With a deep breathe, I let my guard down. "And now I'll be working in the medical field." I mumbled in disbelief.

"I think it'll be great for you. It's more of the kind of things you like. Perhaps you'll get to know one of my other students, while you're training there." Yamato smiled, but I could sense a question coming. "If you don't mind me asking, where did you learn so much about botany, that it impressed even Shizune?"

I hesitated, but paced myself, not to seem out of character. I can't tell him everything, but…

"When I was on my own, after I escaped, I found refuge in a forest. All I had to keep me alive was this power. A power I didn't understand."

Yamato's eyes changed as I continued with my story. Though I couldn't see them for myself, his own memories were re-living themselves through my half-true ones.

"I had to survive somehow. I learned a lot by being alone with nature. It wasn't until the northern winter came through, that I was forced to leave. Everything was dead- or dying. I couldn't bring myself to hunt." Strange tears burned my eyes like salt. I remembered the deer. How they had been there, when I was alone. "There were, these deer- I don't know how to explain it, but we took care of each other. I don't think they were real. I think I imagined them."

There was silence between us, as I cried to myself. My pupils quivered as I looked up at him, "I'm sorry. That doesn't make sense at all."

Yamato shook his head, closing his eyes. "I can't imagine being on your own like that for so long. I'm not saying they weren't real, but I truly believe that when you're alone, all you think about is dying. But when there's someone else there, all you think about is surviving."

Another hour went by, but it wasn't as full of conversation as the last. I still wasn't hungry, and neither was Yamato. We just sat there, both of us brewing in our heads as if we were alone. I sure felt alone. I lied again. Only a little, but it still hurt to watch him believe me.

In my sleep, I swore I heard my door open, and then shut again. But I ignored it, thinking it was probably just a guest not far down the hall. I rolled over onto my back aimlessly, refusing to open my eyes.

The bed sank in on one side, but I didn't move. I rolled towards it, uncontrollably. The warm sensation of skin pressed against my bare chest. Soft, wet lips kissed my neck and jawline, I felt myself melting on the inside, and I parted my legs. Another pair of knees mingled under my sheets, and long hair fell around my head, as the soft lips found mine. I felt my heartbeat intensify, pounding deeper, louder in my chest. I let out a small moan, and there was a chuckle in response.

My eyes flashed open, to find bright blue eyes and a mess of blonde hair above me.

I gasped, but the Akatsuki just smirked, "What?"

No. No, no, no!

I pushed him away, and rushed behind the nearest door with a lock like my life depended on it. After making sure the bathroom door was locked, I slid to the floor with my back against the door.

I heard nothing but my own heavy, panicked breathing, as I forced the tears to the backs of my eyes.

No. This wasn't supposed to happen, not again. Why. God, why?

I waited, and waited. I didn't hear the door to my room open, or close. He was still out there. And I was still in the bathroom, hiding.

Maybe he left. Maybe he was just really quiet about it. Damn these fucking ninjas.

I pulled myself to my feet, and suspended my hand in the air above the sliding door pocket and lock. I daintily unlatched the door, and slid it open just a crack.

But he was just sitting there, with nothing but a pair of dark night pants on, sitting against my bed on the floor. His forearms rested on his knees, with his head rolled back, resting on the pillowy mattress. When he noticed that there was movement, his head lifted up, and those same blue eyes stared my way.

"Why are you still here?" I asked.

His shoulders lifted and fell, "I dunno. Un."

"Go away." I cried.

From the crack of the door, I watched his head fall back against the bed. "Did I do something wrong? Un?"

I was so conflicted. I didn't understand how he couldn't see what he did was wrong. Last time he was here, I was blackout drunk and then raped by that clever loser.

Maybe he didn't see it that way…

I remembered the little white bird that was left on the bedside table.

He didn't see it that way at all.

I opened the door more, and as I walked out, I tried to cover myself the best I could. Deidara's eyes watched me loosely while I went to the vanity, and pulled out some fresh clothes. I rushed myself at first- but in my haste I began struggling to hook my bra behind my back.

Then, two warm hands came from behind me and took the fasteners from my fingertips. I looked up into the mirror, to see him standing there as he hooked my bra together for me.

After pulling his hands away, he turned toward the door, and left.

I felt myself helplessly clutching my neck, somehow feeling suffocated.


	9. Skylit Eyes

_I wasn't going crazy. The Inn really was completely empty. But why was it empty? Except for him._

It shouldn't have felt strange, because I'd made the trip from my room to the lobby lots of times without seeing anybody. But it certainly felt eerie that time. The lobby was cooler, and quieter. Black curtains were draped over every window, even over the glass doors at the front. I moved toward them, and peeked behind. I felt my eyes pinch together from the blinding brightness. The sky was dreary and grey, and dense flurries of snow twirled to the ground. I let the curtain fall back over the window; my shoulders sunk a little.

_I'm going to miss the sunshine. I hate winter._

"Amani-Chan!"

I darted toward the squeal, to see Tobi wearing an apron, waving a wooden spoon at me from the dining room.

"Tobi is making hot cakes!"

I blinked, unsure if the figure before me was actually real. Tobi just stood there. I wasn't sure if he was awaiting a response, or just staring at me.

_I could be dreaming. This could just be the most awkward dream I've ever had._

"Amani, good morning." This time, it was Sarin who appeared from the dining room, also wearing an apron. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah."

"Can I get you some tea? I'm teaching Tobi how to make hot cakes." The old man smiled, and patted Tobi on the shoulder.

"Sure…"

_Maybe this wasn't an awkward dream. Maybe this was just reality. Awkward, reality._

My memory flew back, to the first night I spent at the Inn. Sarin, Tobi, Deidara and I had all eaten dinner together. And now the Inn was empty. I wasn't sure what was going on.

Somehow, amidst my thoughts, I'd made my way into the dining room, and seated myself at a table. I hugged my arms, and rubbed my hands against my long-sleeved shirt. Padded footsteps entered the room behind me. I didn't have to look to know who it was.

Deidara didn't come near me. Instead, he leaned against the door frame of the kitchen. Tobi was scurrying about- collecting ingredients as Sarin requested them.

"Tobi, are we going to make strawberry sauce, too?"

"Oh- can we?"

Sarin laughed as he cracked another egg into a giant mixing bowl, "Of course!"

"Yay!" Suddenly, Tobi threw himself into the pantry singing, "Strawberries- strawberries- yum, yum, yum!"

Deiara watched Sarin, ignoring Tobi completely. Sarin looked over at him, and they exchanged words. It was quiet, and I couldn't pick up anything. I assumed it was about me. I stared at him. His hair had gotten a lot longer since I last saw him. It was easily past the middle of his back. He was trying not to look at me, that much I could tell.

"Tah-Dah!" Tobi exclaimed, with a jar of strawberry preserves above his head.

"Oh good. Is that the last one?" Sarin took the jar from Tobi, and popped it open.

"I think so."

"Hmm, maybe…" Sarin hushed his voice, but I could still hear every word, "Maybe if you asked Miss Amani real nicely, she could grow us some strawberries." He smiled, to me, and winked.

Tobi, like a child, was unaware of our communication, and nodded to himself. "Oh, oh yes, Tobi will ask very nicely. Tobi is a good boy."

I must have spaced out after that, because the next thing I knew, a hot cup of tea was being poured in front of me, and the long-haired blonde was to the right of me at the table. His fingertips touched the sides of his tea, but didn't pick it up. His jaw clenched, slightly, and his eyes looked down.

I was uncomfortable. But I didn't want him to know that.

After another moment passed, he cleared his throat, "Did you get my message? Un?"

_Message?_

"N-No…" I suddenly felt like I was missing something. Something that would have explained what happened this morning. I felt my insides tighten.

_That's right. I'd told Sarin not to tell me when Deidara was coming back again. He probably figured I didn't want to receive any messages from him either. Shit. That's not Sarin's fault. I hope he knows that._

"We're gonna be staying a while, so the old man closed up for us." His eyes darted to the black curtains over the windows.

"Oh."

It was starting to smell really good in that kitchen. It was a galley style, with shutters that could open to the dining room from the counters-up. They were all open now, and I watched aimlessly as Sarin and Tobi began to cook the strawberries.

"Don't forget the honey."

"And cinnamon!" Tobi began shaking a container above the saucepan.

"N-Not too much!" Sarin took it out of his hands quickly.

"I'm sorry…" I began, sliding my eyes back to Deidara, "for this morning. It's just that-"

"No, I get it."

_I rejected him, of course he's going to feel rejected. I just didn't think it would bother me so much. He's going to be staying for a long time, this go around. It's going to seem even longer if I don't make it right._

"Hot Cakes are ready!" Tobi came up to the table to inform us.

"'Bout time. Un." Deidara complained with a smile. I caught him glance to me, putting away the sadness that had once been, "You've never had Sarin's Hot Cakes, have you?"

"No, I haven't."

He threw back the rest of his tea, and stretched his arms in the air, "It's the best. Un."

And they really were the best. Tobi prided himself by serving everybody's plates for us. First layering three cakes, honey drizzled in between each, then topped with warm strawberry sauce.

"Tobi, I must say, these are quite good." Sarin complimented.

"Yay! Tobi worked very hard."

Again, he did that thing where, with each bite Tobi would turn his face and lift his mask- swift like a bullfrog takes a fly. I wasn't sure if it bothered anybody else, or if it was just me. Had they ever seen his face? I never knew.

Just as everyone was beginning to fill up, did the conversations begin. It started with Sarin:

"Amani, I forgot to ask, what did the Hokage have to say yesterday that was so urgent?"

_Oh, that._

"Well, there were some other people there, of importance, politicians maybe- They didn't want me to train with Yamato because I haven't been through standard testing at the academy. But Yamato and Lady Tsunade convinced them that… I was important enough to keep."

"Why would they say that?" Deidara crossed his brows, trying to decode it all.

"Apparently, the Wood Style is the only other Jutsu besides the Sharingan that can keep the Nine-Tails at bay if it over-reacts. It's better to have two, than just one ninja capable of restraining it."

Deidara's eyes lit up. "You're working with the Nine-Tails? Un?"

"Not yet… I think I will be, soon, though."

He relaxed his face, but I could tell that there was something else going on inside his head. For the moment, I let it be.

"And Lady Tsunade has asked me to take up training in the medical field as well. Mostly with plants…" I let my voice fall, feeling that my enthusiasm had worn itself out.

"That's wonderful! I'm sure you'll be right at home doing that." The old man's wrinkles made his eyes disappear.

I felt my heart glow inside.

"Well," Deidara pulled his eyes to meet mine, "It seems a lot has changed since the last time we've been back. Eh, Tobi? Un?"

"Yep Yep. Amani-Chan is happy, and I can make Hot Cakes!"

We all had a good laugh at that.

"How long will you be staying?" Sarin asked- though I'm sure he knew the answer, and was merely asking for my sake.

"Three weeks, maybe. If things work out in other places like it's supposed to."

I was tempted to ask what it was all about; the work they do. Evil has it's cause; it always does. But it always seems to be, from Deidara's perspective, that it's somebody else's problem, and the work is just thrown at him.

_If he wasn't Akatsuki, I wonder what he would be doing. Would he still act the way he does, or would he be different?_

His ears must have been ringing, because Deidara turned to me, looking past those long blonde bangs, "Maybe next time, if we're not gone too long, you can come with us. Un."

My stomach dropped. "Yeah- M-Maybe."

"Tobi, help me clean up?" Sarin attempted to remove himself, and Tobi, awkward as he was, from the conversation.

"Yes, sir!"

Deidara hadn't blinked an eye, his gaze was steady.

I was really taken by surprise at his request. "Do you really mean that? You want to take me with you?"

"Yeah."

"But… why?"

"Because," his breath blew out so hard that his bangs flipped out of the way. He shook his head to put them back, "'Cuz you'd be useful. Un."

Useful. Somehow it wasn't what I was hoping to hear. Flashes of this morning's episode caused the skin on the back of my neck to shiver. The way he seemed to melt above me… his skin was so warm. I pushed the thoughts away. I didn't know why.

Deidara stood from the chair- seeing how I never responded, he probably figured that the conversation was over. I stood, catching his attention.

"What are you doing the rest of the day?" I asked.

He shrugged, "Dunno. Probably sleep. Why? Un?"

I didn't have a reason for asking. I just did. It's not like he can go out onto the town like a normal person. It wasn't safe out there. "Oh, just wondering. I mean, you are going to be here for a while."

"Yeah, well, I don't mind doing nothing. Beats traveling all the time. Un."

And before I could say anything else, he turned away, and went back to his room. I sort of stood there, in the empty dining hall, not knowing what to do.

Tobi cried out from in the kitchen, "_Oopsie!_" then there was a loud crash. Without blinking, I watched. Sarin gasped, and rushed to help Tobi pick up the broken pieces of the dish he dropped.

There just wasn't any middle ground for me to stand. That masked goofball's insane immaturity, and Deidara's insane… whatever it is he does. The way he acted so impulsively, then it all went cold, while trying to shake it off. It sucked. The weather sucked, too. I poked my nose behind the black curtains over one of the windows once more, glaring at the blizzard that had stirred.

_Maybe I need to go back to bed, too._

I did manage to take a cat nap, only after aimlessly dusting my room out of frustration. There wasn't anybody to talk to. I didn't have Izumi anymore. I didn't have any friends there. It was just me.

_There was a door- It looked like the door of my room in Iwagakure. I remember it because the doorknob was brushed copper, and on one side, the copper had worn away because that's where my thumb always went when I turned it. Like a distant habit, I opened it. There was the hallway, and at the end: the broken window. Reliving that sick vision of the past, I watched myself step slowly toward it, and inspect the lock, knowing damn well that it would be broken. As I touched it, a voice whispered from behind, "Come with me. Un."_

And my eyes cracked open; one of my hands was clutching my chest, grabbing at the pounding inside. It wasn't a nightmare. At least I don't think it was. I managed to sit up in bed, and stared across the room to the far corner, where my plants were growing on the small kitchen counter. I could see their little green bodies peeping from the dark earth, not even a centimeter high.

_They don't even have roots yet. They're just living off of the nutrients inside the seed. Hmm. Sounds a lot like me. I don't have roots here in Konoha, yet. I'm just living off of the nutrients that I was given. A warm bed, food each day…_

And Deidara's lips pressed invisibly against my neck, like a ghost.

_You planted me here._

I wanted to run away, or at least get some air. I made for the door, swinging it open, and nearly screamed when I ran into somebody. He was wearing the same black pants as before, but now had a baggy, long-sleeved shirt on, with a mesh band across the torso.

"S-Sorry. Un." He immediately stepped back.

I gathered my breath, "It's alright, just… startled me is all."

"Look, uh…" his face flushed pink, "I know it's cold, but, do you maybe want to go somewhere?"

I tried to look away, I really did. But I couldn't. "Go somewhere?" I repeated.

"Yeah. Like… flying. With me. Un."

I held my lungs still, suspending them in the uncertainty- until they dropped, "Sure."

I realized that he was already outfitted with fingerless gloves and shoes for snow. I went back into my room, leaving the door open behind me. That was a subtle invitation, yet, he didn't come in right away. He stood there, leaning in, with his feet still on the other side of the threshold. Like some kind of glue stuck him in place. He didn't feel welcome, not after what happened this morning. I pulled on some thicker socks, and was reaching for a sweater to pull over my shirt, when I looked at Deidara again. He had come into my room, but only allowed himself to lean against the wall by the door frame.

I pulled the sweater over my head, and buckled my own boots over my leggings. "I'm ready."

I think he was surprised I even accepted his request. With a half-smile, he followed me out. Once in the lobby, I cringed.

"How will we leave without being seen?"

"Same as always." his head tilted toward the basement door.

I looked around nervously. Sarin wasn't at the front desk, or in the kitchen. Tobi was gone, too. Everything was so still and quiet.

And so we left through the trapdoor in the cellar, and made the long walk along the rugged underground tunnel. The air was damp, and uneven in temperature. There were times it was almost warm, and then a draft would blow in from the other side and rush through my hair. It was dark, really dark. We didn't have a light like the first time.

_The first time. I was so scared, then. And here I am, walking the opposite direction, in the dark, with the boy who saved me, forgot about me, then saved me again. What does it all mean?_

"There's lots of roots up here; try not to trip. Un." Deidara's voice echoed close from behind.

I reached my arms out on either side of me, to feel the tunnel walls if I could. I did trip once, but caught myself on the next step. It wasn't much longer after that we could finally see the dim, grey glow from the outside. The snow had finally stopped, but the blizzard left a thick, crunchy layer of ice crystals over the earth.

In a puff of air, the familiar white winged beast appeared. I never did get a good look at it before. It was chubby, with crisp lines and hollow eyes. It folded it's doughy wings to its sides, as Deidara hopped onto its back.

_I wonder, can it feel? Does it think?_

"What's its name?" I asked, blankly.

Deidara laughed lightly, "What?"

"Does the bird have a name?"

He pulled at his ponytail aimlessly, "Uh, no."

"All living things have names." I smiled at the creature, and reached to stroke its beak.

"Well," he began, rolling his eyes, "That's just it. Un. It's not alive."

_Not alive?_

"You summoned it, didn't you?"

Deidara shook his head, "Made it."

That was one of the things I'd read about in a book from the library. Some shinobi have companions that they can summon for battle. I'd assumed this was just a pet.

"You made this?" I found myself gawking. The hawk-like bird stood practically motionless; unresponsive. "What a work of art…" I wandered around it, poking its spongy body.

I could feel Deidara's eyes following me, and perhaps, there was even a smile on his face.

"How does it fly?"

"I tell it to. Un."

I imitated Deidara's maneuver onto the bird, and tried my best to stand. I just sort of leaned awkwardly with my knees bent and my arms out.

Deidara was behind it's head, standing with ease, "Ready?"

"No." I peeped.

He looked back, and he cringed. "Don't… uh. Don't stand like that." Gently, he took my hands, and pulled me toward him, so I was directly between the wings. "Legs apart- not too much. Okay. Lean forward at take off, and lean back at landings. Got it? Un?"

I nodded slowly, watching my feet. I swallowed hard, "I don't want to fall."

"You won't fall."

And like magic, the bird began to flap its wings. Deidara stayed facing me, our hands hovering close. He watched my feet- so did I. Before I knew it- we were off the ground, and then the trees started to slide away from below.

I gasped, the wind now rushing past my face, and clutched his wrists. Deidara stood still, as the bird flapped higher and higher. I was certain that Konoha was out of sight by then. The air was getting thin, and dead cold. My teeth rattled lightly. I clenched my jaw and opened my eyes.

Deidara was still holding onto me with one hand, while his back was now turned toward me.

_I guess he does need to fly this thing, afterall._

"Where are we going?" I yelled.

"South." He shouted against the wind, "To the ocean. Un."

My heart scampered with excitement. Years. It had been years since I laid my eyes on the never-ending waves of the sea. The smell of the foam and salt were nearly lost to my memory. Air-time was short, shorter than I expected.

Deidara took the bird lower, below the cloudline a few times to check his bearings. "Yeah, we're close."

The forests of the Land of Fire seemed to be infinite, until I saw the coast. There were no sandy beaches, as I remember from living near the Land of Waves for a time. It was a sharp drop, rocky cliffs and fierce waves crashing below.

"Hold on."

I leaned back slightly, and felt the bird's aerodynamic shape pull me down with it, as the decline grew steep. Deidara clutched my wrist from behind, focusing on the landing. The ground was dry and barren. The blizzard from the north hadn't reached this far south yet. At the edge of the forest, we landed.

I slid off of the bird awkwardly and tried to walk as steady as I could. I felt like the earth was quaking beneath me. It was still so cold there. The tips of my fingers and nose were numb and felt shrunken. I hugged my sides to warm my hands.

The rush of the water beyond the cliff edge drew me toward it. Dry, brown grass brushed against my boots. And then it just ended. Still holding my hands to my chest, I looked over the cliff; a hundred meters down was the sea. Like an endless wash cycle, the waves rolled and crashed against the rock face, wearing it away; lifetime by lifetime.

"Do you like it? Here… I mean. Un." I nearly jumped when he spoke. We'd already been there for ten minutes without a word between us.

I glanced to the right. He was just standing there, hands in his pockets and hair blowing in the wind. "It's beautiful. And somehow, bigger than I remember. It just goes on forever."

"Well, Not forever." He knelt to the grass and sat, meditation style. "The best things are only fleeting. Un."

I felt strange standing alone, so I sat next to him, "But the ocean is so old, it's been here since the beginning of time, and will be until the end of time. That's not fleeting at all."

"That's true, but it changes all the time. Storms come and go, and no two waves are the same. Un."

I closed my eyes, and listened. The rocky cliffs sent the sound of the crashing wakes into the sky. It was true. Even by ear, no two waves were exactly alike. Eyes still closed, I asked, "Tell me, what else is fleeting?"

"Art- true art."

"Yeah?" I leaned back into the prickly grass, stretching my arms above my head. Suddenly the wind fell still, and the radiating warmth of the ocean calmed my mind.

"Of course. How can you really love and appreciate something that never ceases to exist? After a while, it just gets taken for granted. Then it's not true art. Un."

I opened my eyes, without sitting upright, I thought to myself.

_Is he an artist? No, he's a rogue killer. Fighting for the cause of organized crime. Who is he, who is he really?_

"Who are you?"

"Tch. Not sure. I've been trying to figure it out for a long time."

"Me too."

"Why?" He asked, baffled, "What's itching under your skin? Un?" As if I couldn't possibly have been through anything horrible- at least not horrible on his scale.

"Lots of stuff, actually." I fell quiet, and rolled over on my side, facing away from him.

"I find that hard to believe. Un." He chuckled again, in disbelief.

"Why?" I shot up, so our eyes met. "Why are you the only one allowed to have problems? Huh? Excuse me for saying, but it wasn't exactly a _planned_ event- our introduction- if I remember."

"No, it wasn't, but-"

"What makes you think that I look back on that night with warm, fuzzy feelings?"

"**Because I do**."

I felt my eyes shake as I rapidly tried to understand his expression. His eyes were wide, bright and blue, but his lips trembled as he tried to hid his face behind the long blonde bangs. The air suddenly felt colder.

_You do. And I was too blind; blinded by fear and uncertainty to see it as you did. How could I? I was afraid. You terrified me, Deidara._

I stood up, I couldn't sit there alone with my thoughts anymore. So I began to pace around, just scrambling it all inside my head. I'd never been so confused in my life. And then, just like that, I was pulled away from it all, as he grabbed my hand.

Deidara stood before me, pulled my wrists toward him, until our heartbeats were only inches apart. With those skylit eyes, he looked so deep into my soul… it petrified me. Then, he went for it- and I let him. I let him kiss me.


End file.
